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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show units of electricity produced by fuel source in Denmark and Germany in 1978 and 1998. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts illustrate the
units
Use synonyms
 of electricity produced by fuel sources in two countries,
Denmark
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 and
Germany
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in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 1978 and 1998.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in
Denmark
Use synonyms
coal
Punctuation problem
, coal
show examples
 was the dominant fuel source throughout the period,
while
Linking Words
Germany
Use synonyms
 saw a massive shift towards nuclear power by 1998.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the total production in these two countries increased significantly, reaching the same total of 160
units
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 in 1998. In
Denmark
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, the amount of electricity from coal witnessed a sharp jump from 53 in 1978 to roughly 122 in 1998. Comparing the same source in
Germany
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, it showed a slight decrease in
units
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 from 22 in 1978 to 20 in 1998.
Similarly
Linking Words
, nuclear power in
Germany
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 presented a dramatic increase from only 11 in 1978 to 111 in 1998, which is a significant growth for
this
Linking Words
 source.
However
Linking Words
, in
Denmark
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, natural gas production declined from 15
units
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 in 1978 to only 2
in
Check wording
units in
show examples
 1998.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a decrease was
also
Linking Words
 seen in
Germany
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, where it fell from 22
units
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 in 1978 to 6 in 1998. Oil experienced a similar decline in these countries. In 1978, the oil
units
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 in
Denmark
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 fell from 7 to only 2
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 1998.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
Germany
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's oil production started at 20
units
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 in 1978 and remained stable at 20
units
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 in 1998.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words units, denmark, germany with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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