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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of households that owned different electronic devices in a country in 2000 and 2020. Device20002020 Television90%98% Computer40%85% Mobile Phone25%95% Internet Access15%90% DVD Player60%30% Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart provides key information about the percentages of households that owned five different electronic devices in a country between 2000 and 2020.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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 television accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
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 highest percentage out of all the devices for both years.
In addition
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, both the mobile phone and internet access
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
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 a significant rise in their percentages in 2020 compared to 2000,
whereas
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 dvd player surprisingly indicated a decline in 2020. In terms of the highest owned device
television
Punctuation problem
, television
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 shows approximately a 8% increase in the
20 years
Correct word choice
20-year
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 differences
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while
Punctuation problem
, while
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dvd
Fix capitalization
DVD
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 players
indicates
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicate
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 a 30% decrease in 2020. As for the remaining
categories
Punctuation problem
categories,
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 the internet
rises
Wrong verb form
rose
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 by approximately 70% in 2020
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 mobile
phone
Check wording
phones
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 grew by almost 60% From 2000.
Lastly
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, the computer had an increase of almost of 45% between the years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: The word "indicated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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