Writing Correction Service Writing Samples Band 7 There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the. International music that is heard everywhere nowadays

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The argument over the influences of the

music

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type on our daily leaves are still a subject of intense debate. Some people believe that traditional singing has an enormous role in our

cultures

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While

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others are going with the tune worldwide must be unversed and make the whole world have one ear.In

this

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essay will discuss both views and

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will give my own perspective

at the end

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. On one hand, the supporters of the

music

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that comes from traditional instruments say with a high voice :"we should secure

this

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sort of

music

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, because it is our identity and it is the most effective way to transmit

cultures

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to the next generation from the previous parents".

Moreover

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, the local

music

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contains a rich legacy come from parents' past lives.

For instance

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,memories of victories, victims and hard times.

On the other hand

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, the people against the ancient

music

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and supporting the modern sounds with new instruments and styles, they are saying " tune is a language of the world and people worldwide must speak one sound that make world easier to gather and found same floor to communicate with each other". In conclusion, both views had a correct and logical perspective and clear evidence for how they see the influences of the different types of singing and sounds in individuals and citizens,

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also

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as well as

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the influences

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show examples

cultures

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and generations.

Lastly

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firmly believe that

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apply

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securing traditional

music

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and letting it be passed down between generations is most beneficial on secure identity of individuals, transmitting

cultures

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and preserving previous experiences.

omerelsiercv35

Jun 16, 2026

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task response

Answer both questions more clearly. Say why we need music, and then say why traditional music is or is not more important than international music.

coherence and cohesion

Make your main idea in each body paragraph very clear. One paragraph should be about traditional music, and one should be about international music.

task response

Use one or two simple examples to support your ideas. Your example about memories is interesting, but it needs more detail.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid very long sentences because they are hard to follow. Split them into two shorter sentences.

coherence and cohesion

You wrote an introduction and a clear conclusion.

task response

You discussed both sides and gave your own opinion at the end.

task response

Your ideas about music, culture, and identity are relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

259 words

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Writing Correction Service Writing Samples Band 7 There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the. International music that is heard everywhere nowadays

Some people think that all entertainment television programs should educate people about the importance of social issues. Do you agree or disagree?

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, others claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give your own opinion. #224

The best way to tackle the problem of obesity is to educate people about healthy eating. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The practice of illegally hunting wild animals continues to cause concern in many countries ,particularly developing countries. What are the causes of such hunting? What are the effects on the animals and on the wider human society in these countries and beyond .