Many developing countries require aid from international organizations to develop. Many people think that this aid should be financial, while others think that practical aid and advice are more useful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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Many people think that international
organizations
should support developing countries financially only. Change the spelling
organisations
However
, others may think that the support for that part of the world should be technical and practical. In my opinion, they should be supported both by money and advice.Linking Words
This
essay will examine those two Linking Words
prespectives
.
On one hand, those who Correct your spelling
perspectives
belive
that the role of the global Correct your spelling
believe
organizations
is limited to financial Change the spelling
organisations
aid
, may Use synonyms
belive
that those Correct your spelling
believe
contries
have the complete right to decide how to spend Correct your spelling
countries
this
money. They are assuming that people there are able to determine which sectors in those countries need Linking Words
this
financial support. Linking Words
Due to
the fact that they are not familiar with the nature and culture of Linking Words
such
communities, it is difficult for organisations from outside to provide plans for them. Linking Words
For example
, they may not be able to decide Linking Words
wich
part of the country is Correct your spelling
which
the
ideal to establish a university because of the lack of understanding of the mentality of that Correct article usage
apply
comunity
, so their financial Correct your spelling
community
aid
is more than enough.
On the Use synonyms
ather
hand, people who are more towards the practical Correct your spelling
other
aid
of help to the developing countries, have their own ideas and reasons. Their belief is based on the idea that teaching someone how to catch a fish is better than feeding him. Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason
they agree that those Add a comma
reason,
comunities
can depend on themselvesCorrect your spelling
communities
,
if they are trained well and provided with practical plans. SoPunctuation problem
apply
that
, they are against the financial Correct word choice
apply
aid
Use synonyms
siince
those Correct your spelling
since
govrnments
received the technical Correct your spelling
governments
aid
Use synonyms
of
how to invest in their Change preposition
on
availabe
resources.
In conclusion, I Correct your spelling
available
belive
that developing Correct your spelling
believe
counties
should be provided with both Use the right word
countries
kind
of help. For the fact that practical Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
experince
without a sufficient budget would not make any difference in that part of the world.Correct your spelling
experience
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task response
Answer all parts of the task in a full way. You discuss both views and give your opinion, but your opinion needs a bit more support.
task response
Make your main ideas more clear. Some ideas are good, but a few lines are hard to follow because of word choice and grammar.
task response
Use more clear and real examples to support your points. You give one example, but it could be more direct and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear overall shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some joining words are used, but a few are not natural, such as 'For this reason' and 'So that' in those places.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay focused on one main point. A few sentences are long and a little confusing, so the reader may lose the main idea.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and you give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
You use a clear essay plan with an opening and an ending.
task response
The topic stays mostly on developing countries and aid, so your ideas are relevant.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite