Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial to their future careers and therefore other subjects such as music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

Some people

are argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

institution

Check wording

institutions

show examples

must teach a crucial lesson to

school

Use synonyms

learners

which are

Correct subject-verb agreement

that is

show examples

significant to their life careers in the future.

Therefore

Linking Words

, many people are against that,

music

Use synonyms

and

sport

Use synonyms

are not vital for

student

Check wording

students

show examples

in the future.

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

point, I disagree

becasue

Correct your spelling

because

all children

msut

Correct your spelling

must

have their own priority to

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

what they like and want to be in the future.

However

Linking Words

, sports and

music

Use synonyms

are crucial

Change preposition

for

show examples

their physical

as well as

Linking Words

they

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

been training form professor. First of all, one

Change preposition

apply

show examples

thing can be said in

sopport

Correct your spelling

support

of my view that

Correct determiner usage

show examples

child must hahve on their own idea for chosen for thier life rather than parents given to them

Change preposition

by their parents.

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

Use synonyms

school

Correct subject-verb agreement

schools

show examples

have

minority

Correct article usage

a minority

show examples

to teach them and

guiding

Wrong verb form

guide

show examples

them to

obeying

Wrong verb form

obey

show examples

for their own. And it can be

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

individual significant on the society.

For instance

Linking Words

, once

professor

Correct article usage

a professor

show examples

gives and guid how to be,

school

Use synonyms

learners

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been taught.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it should

also

Linking Words

be noted that surving form their teaching is vital for children.

Therefore

Linking Words

, one should focus on how it can have a possitive affect in the long run.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, despite some positive

side

Fix the agreement mistake

sides

show examples

of that, the drawbacks can not be

overload

Wrong verb form

overlooked

show examples

Punctuation problem

show examples

this

Linking Words

regard, I would argue that

sport

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

are

also

Linking Words

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for all

school

Use synonyms

learmers

Correct your spelling

learners

. Alongside

this

Linking Words

instrument

Replace the word

instrumental

and physical moving from the

sport

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as football, tennis, golf, and others.

For example

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

is relaxing mind and

reset

Correct subject-verb agreement

resets

show examples

for

exhauted

Correct your spelling

exhausted

either

Fix capitalization

Either

show examples

sport

Use synonyms

activities are releave from the

stressfull

Correct your spelling

stressful

Similarly

Linking Words

, another thing to consider in

this

Linking Words

context is that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

both

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts,

show examples

such

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

sport

Punctuation problem

sport,

show examples

are beneficial for

relevae

Correct your spelling

relieving

stress and

help

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

their own part

it seem

Punctuation problem

. It seems

show examples

to me that these

aspect

Fix the agreement mistake

aspects

show examples

should

also

Linking Words

be taken into consideration

while

Linking Words

jugging

Use the right word

weighing

show examples

the pros and cons. In conclusion, with the evidence demonstrated so far,

Fix capitalization

show examples

would

rerate

Correct your spelling

re-rate

perspetive

Correct your spelling

perspective

by stating that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

school

Use synonyms

teaching

just

Verb problem

is just

show examples

crucial subjects and

dismiss

Correct subject-verb agreement

dismisses

show examples

music

Use synonyms

and

sport

Use synonyms

. Has both

merit

Fix the agreement mistake

merits

show examples

and demerits.

Thus

Linking Words

, we should

wieght

Correct your spelling

weigh

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

downsides

as well as

Linking Words

the upsides of

this

Linking Words

to determine the

usefulnes

Correct your spelling

usefulness

individual

Correct article usage

the individual

show examples

and society.

Chaiyapat Soka

Jun 17, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Task response: You answer the question and show your opinion, but your position is not always clear. State your main idea in a simple way in the introduction and keep the same view in all body paragraphs.

task response

Task response: Your ideas are relevant, but some parts are too general. Add one clear reason for each main point and explain it with simple detail.

task response

Task response: Your examples are weak or unclear. Use one easy and real example, such as how sport helps health or how music helps the mind.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has paragraphing, which is good, but the order of ideas is sometimes hard to follow. Put one main idea in each paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: Use simple linking words correctly, like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion. Do not use too many long linking phrases.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences do not connect well to the next sentence. Make sure each sentence clearly supports the topic of the paragraph.

task response

Task response: You clearly talk about the school subjects in the question, especially music and sport.

task response

Task response: You give your own view and try to support it with reasons.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: You use some linking words such as first of all, on the other hand, for example, and in conclusion.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

353 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In developed countries, more and people buy and use their cars. Do the advantages for people of car using outweightq its disadvantages on environment
Developed countries are witnessing an increase in the number of people buying and using cars. Even though the use of cars is more beneficial, it has some negative effects
6.5
band
In many countries, the rate of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with this?
In contemporary society, crime is one of the most considerable concerns and the rates of it have an upward trend. This essay will discuss some reasons for this problem and provide solutions to this.
7.5
band
You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to him/her
How are you? It's been a while since we last met face to face. I hope you're doing well. I wonder if you're getting a job or going to college.
7
band
Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
The actions by the administration to spend more revenue on public transportation as well as decrease trip costs are expected to bring down automobile pollution .I agree with this opinion because it is possible to reduce pollution to a certain extent by doing so . As well as , argues that since most people who use their own convenience are doing so because of convenience , other methods should be tried out . Furthermore, suggests a solution to the issue
6
band
IN SOME COUNTRIES OWNING A HOME RATHER THAN RENTING ONE IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE WHY MIGHT BE THE CASE DO YOU THINK IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE SITUATION
Current day, a large amount of people think that having a property home is significantly better than a rental house. Especially if those countries have poor economies. I strongly believe that the argument because it's hard to afford your living cost with a house payment especially if just one person manages the finances in the family.

Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial to their future careers and therefore other subjects such as music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In developed countries, more and people buy and use their cars. Do the advantages for people of car using outweightq its disadvantages on environment

In many countries, the rate of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with this?

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to him/her

IN SOME COUNTRIES OWNING A HOME RATHER THAN RENTING ONE IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE WHY MIGHT BE THE CASE DO YOU THINK IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE SITUATION