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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of money spent on advertising in five types of media in France from 2010 and projected spending to 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph below shows the percentage of money spent on advertising in five types of media in France from 2010 and projected spending to 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
Linking Words
 line graph illustrates the proportion of money spent on advertising across five
categores
Correct your spelling
categories
 of media
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 television, newspapers, magazines, radio and internet in France from 2010 and predicted spending in 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the internet is the dominant
with
Correct pronoun usage
one with
show examples
 a significant increass through all the
40
Correct word choice
past 40
show examples
 years.
Television
Correct article usage
The television
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 category remained
relativily
Correct your spelling
relatively
 stable,
while
Linking Words
 newspapers showed a sharp
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
.
In addition
Linking Words
, magazines and radio had similar
percentage
Check wording
percentages
show examples
 where they dropped to the same point. In detail, the money spent on the internet
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 in the lowest proportion in 2010, but
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2020 the increase began to rise noticeably
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is expected to continue increasing, reaching 45% by 2040. Television was 35% in 2010 and in 2020 presented a slight increase to 45%
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 started to
fell
Wrong verb form
fall
show examples
 again, it is predicted to return to 35% in 2040.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
newspaper
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
 in 2010 was nearly to 35% and by 2020 declined to 25%
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it is projected to reach 10% in 2040.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 in 2010, magazines were 15%,
whereas
Linking Words
 radio accounted for 10% both categories
beagan
Correct your spelling
began
 to
declined
Wrong verb form
decline
show examples
 in 2020
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they
predicted
Verb problem
are predicted
show examples
 to hit
the
Correct article usage
their
show examples
 lowest point by 2040.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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