IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments should stop spending billions of dollars on space exploration and instead focus on solving immediate problems on Earth, such as poverty, healthcare, and climate change.

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In today's fast-paced world,
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 is an integral part of governments' budgets.
While
Linking Words
 some people believe that nations
ougth
Correct your spelling
ought
 to allocate more resources to meet
countries
Use synonyms
' crucial needs
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as poverty and healthcare. I somewhat disagree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective.
Although
Linking Words
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 conduct some experiments about a new safe place for their future,
countries
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 have to find a solution to poverty,leading them to
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 economic issues. On the one hand,
exploration
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 projects constitute a large portion of
countries
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' budgets, preventing them from investing in the crucial needs of their citizens.
This
Linking Words
 is because investing in
space
Use synonyms
 programmes requires skilled astronauts and well-equipped
Use synonyms
space crafts
Correct your spelling
spacecraft
,
Use synonyms
countries
Correct word choice
and countries
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 spend an enormous
amount
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 of money developing and educating them.
As a result
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, they may freeze or postpone
to others
Change preposition
other
show examples
 investments that are
curical
Correct your spelling
crucial
 for their citizens.
For instance
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, in the 1960s, there was intense competition in
space
Use synonyms
exploration
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, and
Soviet
Correct article usage
the Soviet
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 Union spent an excessive
amount
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 of money to be the first country
that reached
Wrong verb form
to reach
show examples
 the Moon.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the citizens cannot receive sufficient support from their government, resulting in a significant increase in poverty.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, ensuring an enormous
amount
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 of funding for
space
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exploration
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 and experiments has a great impact on enabling scientists to focus on their
research
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because
space
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 experiments are complex and require an enormous
amount
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 of funding. If scientist don't have enough funding to continue their
research
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, they have to find fundraising solutions or sponsorships.
As a result
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, they have to spend countless
efforts
Check wording
hours
show examples
 finding funding
instead
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 of doing their
research
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. To illustrate, in the U.S., scientists suffer from a lack of sufficient funding, preventing them from completing their
research
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, resulting in the
research
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, which tried to find new forms of life on the Moon, being stopped.
Thus
Linking Words
, there is a strong link between funding and
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some people argue that governments should spend more money on their crucial needs,
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 is vital for nations to support new
research
Use synonyms
. I firmly believe that
governmets
Correct your spelling
governments
 are capable of doing both. Finding a balance is essential.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. You say you somewhat disagree, but the last line says the government can do both. Keep one clear position all through the essay.
task response
Answer all parts of the question more directly. Say why money should or should not move from space to Earth problems like poverty, health, and climate change.
task response
Use more clear and full ideas in each body paragraph. Some points are good, but they need deeper explanation.
task response
Give examples that feel more exact and more natural. Some examples are too general or not fully true, so they are less strong.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Make linking between ideas smoother. Some sentences are long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Develop one main idea fully in each paragraph. A few ideas are repeated instead of extended.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence joining and punctuation. For example, some commas should be full stops or other linkers.
coherence and cohesion
You clearly organized the essay into introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
You stayed on the topic and discussed both space spending and Earth problems.
task response
You gave reasons for both sides, which helps show balanced thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion gives a final opinion and ends the essay clearly.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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