IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that manufacturers and supermarkets have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products. Others argue that consumers should simply avoid buying heavily packaged products. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some individuals suggest that customers should not buy things with heavy packaging on
products
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 Others argue that it is
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the manufacturers
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manufacturers
Check wording
manufacturers'
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 and
supermarkets
Check wording
supermarkets'
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 responsibility to reduce the unnecessary packaging from the
products
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both viewpoints and provide my perspective.
To begin
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 with, to make
earth
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Earth
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 an eco-friendly planet
our
Punctuation problem
, our
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 primary concern is
heavy
Correct article usage
the heavy
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 use of plastic. Nowadays, during online shopping
Use synonyms
manufacturers
Punctuation problem
, manufacturers
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 use heavy packaging material which is not necessary to be in the box.
Moreover
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, asking supermarkets and
manufacturers
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 to
optimising
Wrong verb form
optimise
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 the packaging without plastic and less material is not an easy task,
Because
Fix capitalization
because
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 some
products
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 need to be well sealed to prevent solid damage during the transportations.
Furthermore
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, what
manufacturers
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 can do is not to pack those items like
vegetable
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vegetables
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 and fruits which can stay in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good condition without any special packaging.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 argue that
individuals’
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individuals
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 should not purchase items with unnecessary packaging, which is possible
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it is not a sole solution
of
Change preposition
to
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 the problem.
People
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 should ask
manager
Correct article usage
the manager
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 not to pack specific items with heavy plastic
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 if not needed.
In addition
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,
people
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 should carry their old carry bags
instead
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 of buying new
every
Correct pronoun usage
ones every
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 time. In my opinion.
supermarkets
Fix capitalization
Supermarkets
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 should prevent the entry of those
people
Use synonyms
 who do not have carry bags.
Manufacturer
Correct article usage
The manufacturer
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 should be legally
enforcement
Replace the word
enforced
 not to use heavy packaging.
Moreover
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,
products
Use synonyms
 should be packed in recyclable materials.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about both views, but the side about buyers is short.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way and keep it the same from start to end.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, however, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion idea.
coherence and cohesion
The main topic stays the same through the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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