IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that men and women have different qualitites, therefore certin jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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There is an agurement regarded the differences between
Use synonyms
men
Check wording
men's
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
women
Check wording
women's
show examples
 capabilities,
therefore
Linking Words
 they should
engaged
Verb problem
be engaged
show examples
 in specific jobs that match their
qualitites
Correct your spelling
qualities
. I believe that
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 are born different and both of them play a
curial
Use the right word
crucial
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 role in society.
Linking Words
however
Fix capitalization
However
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,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
also
Linking Words
 believe that human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 are able to conquer difficulties if
only
Correct pronoun usage
they only
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the desire and freedom to choose their major.
In addition
Linking Words
,
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
 technologies act as tools that minimise the gap .
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
 tools made
possible
Correct pronoun usage
it possible
show examples
 for a person to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
job
requirement
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requirements
show examples
. The common-natural treat among
men
Use synonyms
that
Verb problem
is that
show examples
 they are physically strong. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 strong sense is seen clearly in
women
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, modern
machine
Check wording
machines
show examples
 and technologies bridge
this
Linking Words
 gap.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Women
Use synonyms
 who can't naturally carry
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heavy stuff
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
breaks
Use the right word
books
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 or
steal
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steel
show examples
 in
sites
Punctuation problem
sites,
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 are
know able
Replace the word
known
 and in fact made job easier for
men
Use synonyms
 as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the evolution of sensors has
enble
Correct your spelling
enabled
men
Use synonyms
 to
distinct
Replace the word
distinguish
 certain elements . The diversity within
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 will support the decisions making by providing different angles in
problem solving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
solution
Correct article usage
the solution
show examples
 will become comperhensive which is important for many
workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
show examples
 as respond for socitey components which is can't be
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
.
For example
Linking Words
, In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, Occupation should
distribute
Wrong verb form
be distributed
show examples
 equally but not evenly ... what is the
base
Check wording
basis
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
.. comperhensive
Punctuation problem
? More comprehensive
show examples
 than specifications

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view in all parts.
task response
Develop each main idea with a full explanation. Some ideas are good, but they stop too soon.
task response
Use one clear example in each body part. Your example about machines helps, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Make your essay plan clearer: introduction, body 1, body 2, conclusion. This will help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Use simple words like first, also, for example, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Finish your conclusion fully. Now it feels unfinished, so the ending is weak.
task response
You answer the main topic and give your own view.
task response
You have a clear main idea that technology can reduce the gap between men and women at work.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to connect ideas with words like however, for instance, and on the other hand.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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