IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
It is common recently for some
people
Use synonyms
 to prefer
Use synonyms
work
Change preposition
to work
show examples
 independently, rather than to be an employee in any institution. There are some advantages that they get,
while
Linking Words
 they might face challenges. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain the comparison of the benefits and the drawbacks.
People
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professionals and skilled individuals may have
flexibility
Correct article usage
the flexibility
show examples
 to manage their time.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they can
work
Use synonyms
 remotely from anywhere, which is more efficient and effective.
This
Linking Words
 approach would benefit
people
Use synonyms
 who have certain responsibilities and
interest
Check wording
interests
show examples
. A mother,
for
Linking Words
instance
Punctuation problem
instance,
show examples
 can take care their kids and
work
Use synonyms
 at
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 time.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a worker has an privilage to chose project that
suitable
Verb problem
is suitable
show examples
 with their passion. Photography can choose
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 theme,
such
Linking Words
 as sports or landscape.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will experience
work
Use synonyms
-life balance
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
prodictivity
Correct your spelling
productivity
 will be increased.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
conditition
Correct your spelling
condition
also
Linking Words
 has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drawbacks. Unstable income could be an issue, especially for
entry level
Correct your spelling
entry-level
.
This
Linking Words
 option would be risky peope who only have basic skills, because they will compete with experienced workers.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
 path is not always predictable because it
depens
Correct your spelling
depends
 on market demand
dan
Correct your spelling
and
 customer needs.
For example
Linking Words
, graphic designers
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 potentially changed by Artificial Intelligence in the future,
thus
Linking Words
 they must have backup plans.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
self-employee
Replace the word
self-employment
 offers flexibility and freedom to
work
Use synonyms
 from anywhere and manage their time, it
pose
Correct subject-verb agreement
poses
show examples
 several issues
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 economic
uncertainlity
Correct your spelling
uncertainty
 and career journey.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the why question more directly. Your essay talks a lot about good and bad points, but the task asks why people choose this way of work.
task response
Make your main idea clear in each body part. Start with one simple reason, then explain it, then give one example.
task response
Use examples that clearly fit the reason. Some examples are good, but a few are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. At times, the jump between ideas is fast.
coherence and cohesion
Check pronouns and word forms, because they sometimes make the line of meaning hard to follow.
task response
You give both sides of the topic and show that you understand the subject.
task response
You use some relevant examples, like a mother and a graphic designer.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear basic linkers like firstly, secondly, on the other hand, and to conclude.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: