IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear...,

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Dear April, How are you? I hope you're doing well. I've heard from my friend that you've changed high
school
Check wording
schools
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. I didn'
t
Use synonyms
 know that, because we haven'
t
Use synonyms
 contacted each other for a
while
Linking Words
. I am going to miss you so much. I'm always with you to root for you. I know that you're having difficulties in high school, like making
some
Correct determiner usage
apply
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friends. Don'
t
Use synonyms
 worry about it, you can do it.
you
Capitalize the word
You
show examples
 love
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
 anime and
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 some games, so find some students who like anime or
game
Check wording
games
show examples
 like you.
In addition
Linking Words
, I know you're good at playing soccer. So you should join the soccer team and show off your skills. Everyone will
absolutly
Correct your spelling
absolutely
 like you. Maybe you can get
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 adorable
girlfreind
Correct your spelling
girlfriend
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, let me tell you a vital tip. Don'
t
Use synonyms
 get
along with
Linking Words
 mean girls. They may ruin your school life easily. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Take care of yourself. My
freind
Correct your spelling
friend
, Kazuya

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task response
Task response: Answer all parts with a bit more detail. Add one or two clear ideas about how to make friends and how to join school groups.
task response
Task response: Use a more kind and safe tone. Do not say things like getting a girlfriend. Focus on school, friends, and support.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. To make it better, link ideas with simple words like also, so, because, and finally.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each part. One part for making friends, one part for clubs and school events, and one part for general advice.
task response
Task response: You answered the topic and gave real advice to your friend.
task response
Task response: You used the letter form well with a greeting and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter is easy to follow and the ideas mostly come in a good order.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You used paragraphs, and this helps the reader.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fit in
  • make friends
  • join a club
  • take part in
  • school activities
  • be yourself
  • stay positive
  • have patience
  • start a conversation
  • common interests
  • friendly and kind
  • ask for help
What to do next:
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