Some people believe that extreme sports, such as skydiving or mountain climbing, should be banned due to the risk of injury. Why do people participate in these activities? Do you think they should be regulated by the government?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Some individuals think that extreme
sports
Use synonyms
, like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skydiving or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mountaineering, should be banned
due to
Linking Words
the risk of injury.
People
Use synonyms
join
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
sport types
Check wording
sports
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
mainly
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
because of searching
new
Change preposition
for new
show examples
feeling from
life
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I believe that extreme
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of activities should be regulated by authorities. The main reason why
people
Use synonyms
participate in skydiving or mountain climbing is to find
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
type of feeling from daily
life
Use synonyms
.
Mostly
Rephrase
Most
show examples
people
Use synonyms
try to avoid casual and repetitive days, but some
people
Use synonyms
prefer extreme
sports
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
type of sport makes them feel alive and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to refresh their worldview.
For example
Linking Words
, individuals
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
who want to conquer Everest's
peak
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
are some kind of crazy personalities. They are driven by their curiosity, like what they would feel and think
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
if they reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
peak
Use synonyms
of Everest.
Moreover
Linking Words
, skydiving is
also
Linking Words
dangerous
Correct article usage
a dangerous
show examples
kind of sport.
However
Linking Words
, amateurs of
this
Linking Words
activity do not think so. They are jumping from high heights to feel some extreme taste of feeling and can reset their opinion about
life
Use synonyms
. Even if
such
Linking Words
activities
have
Verb problem
are done by
show examples
amateurs, I suppose that they should be regulated by governments
due to
Linking Words
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
show examples
of being injured. Under no circumstances
participators of extreme
Correct word order
should participants in extreme sports
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
should not risk their own
Use synonyms
life to just
Correct word order
lives just to
show examples
have a new taste of
life
Use synonyms
, because it can lead to more interest in
such
Linking Words
activities among society.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Kazakhstan, there was an accident
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the highest
peak
Use synonyms
of
mountain
Correct article usage
the mountain
show examples
, namely Khan Tengri . Young lady climbed to the
peak
Use synonyms
, where she broke a left leg and it cause to that she could not descend the mountain.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
rescue
Correct article usage
the rescue
show examples
service could not reach
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
her location
due to
Linking Words
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
show examples
at the
peak
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, she could not be rescued by rescuers.
Thus
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should protect residents and regulate
such
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extreme things. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
argue that skydiving and mountaineering should be restricted
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
because of the risk of injury.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the cause of
such
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
is trying something new and
experience
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
new feelings
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
kind of time
spending
Replace the word
spent
should be regulated by
authorities
Correct article usage
the authorities
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both questions more directly in each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea clear at the start of each paragraph.
task response
Use simpler and more exact examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with clear words like because, so, however, and for example.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about new feelings many times.
task response
You answered both parts of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task response
You used an example to support your opinion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: