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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects- Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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For decades, there has been intense debate whether
History
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 or
Science
Use synonyms
 and Technology is the most relevant unit
at
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apply
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offered at school.
While
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 some individuals claim that applied
science
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 is more important in
this
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 modern society, others believe that historical education plays a more critical role towards progress.
However
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, I believe that an interdisciplinary approach is effective in educating
students
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.
History
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 is significant in fostering identity and cultural awareness. Integration of
this
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 subject unit in
school
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the school
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 curriculum
,
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apply
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 offers
understanding
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an understanding
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 of the development of
the
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apply
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society.
For instance
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, in Filipino pupils have social
science
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 subjects where they
learned
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learn
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 how their brave ancestors fought the conquerors until the Philippines became independent.
Additionally
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, because of
history
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, rich traditions, language, and cultural heritage are ensured to
pass
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be passed
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 on to the next generations; they are preserved and prevented from extinction.
Nevertheless
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, scientific advancement is needed for a progressive future. As for
Science
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 and Technology education, it is the major driving force in finding solutions to
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this
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the
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 contemporary world. Its role in addressing global challenges,
such
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 as climate change, food security and healthcare are crucial. Without Scientists, Engineers, and Analysts,
collapse
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the collapse
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 of humanity will be inevitable.
However
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, there will be no innovations without referencing
from
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apply
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historical data or figures. In my view, both subjects are necessary
that
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and
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 must be included in
students
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' learning to develop a well-rounded individual.
Science
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 and
History
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 go hand-in-hand
, that
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;
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 one cannot be fully understood without the other.
This
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 approach produces smarter and well-informed
students
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. In conclusion,
while
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science
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 solves the world's problems,
history
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 preserves tradition and culture.
Thus
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, a balanced teaching results to verstile
students
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 and members of the community as a whole.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You did this, but one side could be a bit more developed.
task response
Make your opinion more direct and strong in the middle of the essay, not only in the introduction and end.
task response
Use one or two more clear examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. A few sentences feel a little sudden.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same focus in each paragraph. Some lines move too fast from one idea to another.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph opening lines so each one clearly shows the main idea.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
The example about Filipino pupils helps support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • historical context
  • cultural heritage
  • societal development
  • scientific advancements
  • technological innovations
  • economic growth
  • global challenges
  • educational curriculum
  • interdisciplinary approach
  • innovation-driven economy
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