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Writing Samples
Band 5

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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For most of us, working is an essential part of our lives. Because of
this
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, the various industries chosen by
people
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 will more or less influence their happiness. I agree that
people
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 who decide on a
career
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path
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 earlier are more likely to have a satisfying
life
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 than
people
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 who often change their jobs, since the former ones tend to have a better
workplace
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 and more incentives, and the latter ones need to take risks of suffering from lower
life
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 quality.
First,
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for
people
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 who insist on the same
career
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 for a long
time
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, their
workplace
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 is more comfortable. Whenever they face an obstacle, they tend to overcome it rather than escape, because they believe that they can only do
this
Linking Words
job
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. A teacher,
for instance
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, needs to teach a group of students who are always talking over the teacher, and their academic grades are lower than average. If the teacher believes he will
work
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 for the same school for years, he has to manage their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 issues by building a relationship with them and improving his teaching qualities. Over
time
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, one day he may find that his class is engaging and he doesn’t need to waste
time
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 managing students’
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, which means the
workplace
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 becomes better.
Therefore
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,
people
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 who do the same
job
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 for a long
time
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 tend to receive less negative feedback from the
workplace
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 and have a satisfying
work
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life
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accordingly
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.
Second,
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people
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 working in the same industry are more likely to receive incentives and motivation. As
time
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 passes by, they accumulate plenty of experience, which plays an important role in improving their reputation.
For instance
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, a lawyer who has dealt with a great deal of cases is familiar with laws and does better in
analyzing
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analysing
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 clients’ demands.
Consequently
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, in the process of consultation, clients are more satisfied with the solutions given by the lawyer. In the long run, both the reviews and professionalism of the employee are improved, and
then
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, the lawyer may be given compliments and incentives from the leader. Since the possibility of being
recognized
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recognised
show examples
 increases,
people
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 who keep a
career
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path
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 tend to have satisfying
work
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 lives. On the flip side, changing careers frequently makes influence on
people
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’s
life
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 quality. Eveytime when they change a
career
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path
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, they need to learn something new, which takes a lot of
time
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. To be specific, shifting from saving patients’ lives to writing requires at least one year to learn how to improve literacy skills and many years to practice how to write an appealing novel to cater to the market. During the period of shifting,
people
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 may be under pressure of not having enough money to pay rent and not being
recognized
Change the spelling
recognised
show examples
 for a long
time
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, which ends up damaging one’s mental health.
Therefore
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, changing paths frequently puts
people
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 at risk of living a low-quality
life
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 and
consequently
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 having a terrible
work
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life
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.
To sum up
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, I align with the idea that
people
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 deciding on a vacation and
keep
Verb problem
stick to
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 it tend to have
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 satisfying
work
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life
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 than
people
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changing
Correct word order
who frequently change jobs
show examples
job
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 frequently.
While
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 changing
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job
Check wording
jobs
show examples
 may cause
the deline of
Check wording
a decline in
show examples
life
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 quality, exploring the same
path
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 for many years provides
people
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 with
excellent
Correct article usage
an excellent
show examples
 working environment and enough motivation.

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task response
Make your main idea more exact. Say clearly why staying in one career gives more work joy, and keep this idea the same all through the essay.
task response
Give more balanced thinking. You agree, but you can still show that changing jobs may help some people. This will make your answer look more full.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and direct. Some examples are a bit long or too far from real life, so they do not help your point enough.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. A few parts jump too fast from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Keep word use steady. Sometimes you say career, job, industry, and vacation when you mean the same thing. This can confuse the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Check topic sentences and final sentences in each body paragraph. Make sure each one clearly matches the main point of that paragraph.
task response
You answer the question clearly and show your opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body paragraphs, and ending.
task response
Most body paragraphs have examples to support the main point.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
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