IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is the government's responsibility to tackle environmental issues. Othere believe it is up to each individual to be environmentally responsible. Discuss both sides.

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Nowadays, pollution is increasing significantly at an alarming rate. Some
individuals
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 believe that
the
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apply
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environmental issues should be addressed by the government.
However
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, others argue that
individuals
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 should take responsibility for these growing concerns.
This
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 essay will discuss
both
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 perspectives and explain why I believe that tackling these issues requires efforts from
both
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 sides. On the one hand, higher authorities are responsible for dealing with environmental causes because they have the power to make laws and enforce stringent rules in the country. If citizens disobey these
rules
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rules,
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then
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 they can impose heavy fines
,
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apply
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 or even imprisonment, which will help to reduce the problems to some extent.
Moreover
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, the government can raise awareness through campaigns and advertisements to educate
them
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people
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 about the environmental challenges.
For example
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,
encourage
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encouraging
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 people to use public transportation,
reduce
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reducing
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 plastic consumption, and promoting recycling can significantly reduce the effects of global warming.
Therefore
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, I believe that the support from officials is essential to overcome the environmental problems.
On the other hand
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,
individuals
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 must recognise their responsibility towards the environment. People can contribute by taking small initiatives
such
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 as saving water, electricity, planting trees, and disposing of waste properly. These steps may seem minor yet effective
but
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, but
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 when
individuals
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followed
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follow
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 them continuously,
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then
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apply
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they will bring positive outcomes.
For example
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, if every household
start
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starts
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 recycling
,
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apply
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 and reduce their dependency on power
,
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apply
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 and plastics,
then
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 it will generate
lower
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less
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 waste in the community.
Hence
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, I believe that
individuals
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 have
a
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the
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 power of modification
which
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, which
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 can make
the
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apply
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society healthier and safer.
To sum up
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,
both
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 the government and
individuals
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 play a vital role in
the
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apply
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society. I personally think the combined efforts of
both
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 sides can reduce the pollution in the society, and
helps
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help
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 to create a safer environment for the residents.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. The side about government is a little stronger than the side about people.
task response
Add a clearer opinion in the middle body parts, not only in the intro and end.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and real. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are clear, but a few sentences are long and not easy to follow. Make them shorter.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used well, but sometimes the sentence flow is not smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each main idea has one clear support point before you move to the next idea.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas stay on the topic and are easy to understand.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • take responsibility
  • make laws
  • public money
  • clean energy
  • public transport
  • waste system
  • air pollution
  • water pollution
  • climate change
  • daily habits
  • save energy
  • save water
  • reduce plastic use
  • recycle waste
  • environmentally friendly
  • big companies
  • public services
  • follow rules
  • work together
  • long-term change
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