Nowadays, some high-school graduates travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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These days, some high-school graduates choose to travel or have a part-

time

Use synonyms

job for a period of

time

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rather than entering

university

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right away. There are many advantages and disadvantages to taking

time

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off before going to

university

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. Personally, I believe that gaining diverse experiences

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

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traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

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and

working

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working,

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is much better than going to college as soon as graduating high school.

To begin

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with, graduates may struggle to adapt to the

university

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environment if they do not enter immediately.

This

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is because they will be older than their peers who entered right after high school, and they may lack focus on their studies

due to

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their extended free

time

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Furthermore

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, if they fail to make specific plans for their adulthood, they could waste their precious

time

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in their 20s.

This

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could lead to delayed employment and a lower salary compared to their peers.

Also

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, when they travel or work part-

time

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without considering the future, they might miss the optimal

time

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to attend

university

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further

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delaying their education.

On the other hand

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, they can enjoy their first taste of freedom as adults. They can learn to take responsibility for their actions and develop the life skills needed to live independently,

such

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as doing laundry or ordering food through these experiences. They can

also

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broaden their horizons, which is necessary to live wisely, by making new local friends

while

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traveling

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travelling

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and experiencing other cultures firsthand.

Additionally

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, a part-

time

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job can help them develop a proper financial perspective.

This

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helps them manage their money more effectively when they receive their first salary after joining a company. In conclusion,

while

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there are some disadvantages to taking

time

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off after finishing high school, I believe there are far more advantages to pursuing new experiences like travel and work. Upon reaching adulthood, if they make concrete plans for their lives,

traveling

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travelling

show examples

and working briefly will provide them with valuable guidance for the future.

cjh021014

Jun 29, 2026

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task response

Answer the question more directly in each body part. Show more clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points.

task response

Use one or two clear real examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger and easier to trust.

task response

Explain some ideas more fully. For example, say exactly how travel or work helps later study or later jobs.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas more smoothly inside paragraphs. Some sentences feel like a list, not one clear line of thought.

coherence and cohesion

Be careful with words like 'this' and 'they'. Sometimes the reader must stop and think about what they mean.

coherence and cohesion

Make each paragraph follow one main idea only, then develop it step by step.

task response

You give a clear opinion from the start and keep it to the end.

task response

You discuss both advantages and disadvantages, so the essay answers all parts of the question.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Basic linking words like 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' help guide the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Nowadays, some high-school graduates travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The natural resources such as oil, forests and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems?

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Directors of large organizations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.