It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative or practical subjects for which they may have more apptitute for. To what extent do you agree or disgaree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
It is argued that rather than forcing
childern
Correct your spelling
children
to learn painting and drawing who do not
carry
Verb problem
have
show examples
any specific art telent,
should
Correct pronoun usage
they should
show examples
focus on those
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
in which they are
Use synonyms
talent
Replace the word
talented
. I completely agreed with
this
Linking Words
statement because different people have different
Use synonyms
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
show examples
, and get easily bored at uninterested activities. On the one hand,
children
Use synonyms
likes
Correct subject-verb agreement
like
show examples
to learn new things. They are more curious about the process and
result
Use synonyms
because every individuals have different
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
and have unique way to do their job. If they are
force
Wrong verb form
forced
show examples
to do activities in which they do not have any
talent
Use synonyms
and interest,
then
Linking Words
they will not
able
Verb problem
be able
show examples
to provide good outputs and their potential will
showdown
Verb problem
be wasted
show examples
.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
they become less
confidence
Replace the word
confident
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
school
Punctuation problem
school,
show examples
every
children
Use synonyms
are treated equally and
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
level of extra curiculam activites are set for all kids, in which many
children
Use synonyms
perform
week eventhough
Correct your spelling
well even though
they are more active at home. As they get
judge
Wrong verb form
judged
show examples
based on that
peoformance
Correct your spelling
performance
at school, they start to feel low and their confidence level
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
should be free to do what they
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
to do,
as a
Linking Words
Use synonyms
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
they can give good
Use synonyms
result
Check wording
results
show examples
from performance.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if they are pressured to do
those
Fix the agreement mistake
that
show examples
work in which they are less
interest
Replace the word
interested,
then
Linking Words
they get easily bored.
This
Linking Words
is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
monotonous work
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them like
robort
Correct your spelling
robots
. Doing
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
kinds of work, not getting any motivation. They feel
excusted
Correct your spelling
exhausted
doing it
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
because they follow
method
Correct article usage
the method
show examples
of doing it which was
teached
Wrong verb form
taught
show examples
by their
tuitor
Correct your spelling
tutor
rather than putting any extra effort. For
instence
Correct your spelling
instance
,
chess
Correct article usage
a chess
show examples
game is played
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
a single place for a long time. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
doesnot
Correct your spelling
do not
like to play because of less movement and
cheat-chat
Correct your spelling
chat
. And when
school
Correct subject-verb agreement
schools
show examples
organise game programs, and if any class are forced to play one single game, many
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
are unable to give excelent
result
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, activiteies which motivated and catch
attention
Correct article usage
the attention
show examples
of
student
Check wording
students
show examples
while
Linking Words
doing it. In conclusion, rather than forcing
to learn art
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
who
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
have any
talent
Use synonyms
, it
Verb problem
to learn art, it
show examples
will be good to
focused
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
on those
activitest
Correct your spelling
activities
in
ehich
Correct your spelling
which
they have by-birth knowledge, which i completelly agreed because it helps to boost confidence and give potentioal
result
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why you agree, and keep this same line in all parts.
task response
Use ideas that fit the topic only. Your chess example is not close enough to painting and drawing.
task response
Add one clear example for each main idea. Make sure each example shows how children learn better in other subjects.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph. Start with a clear topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, for example, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it. Some parts now jump too fast and are hard to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and again in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to explain your points with reasons and examples.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: