IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The maps below show the changes that took place at a science and technology museum between 1996 and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The development of
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
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 and Technology Museum is displayed in the maps, where
the
Correct article usage
apply
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several places have
changed
Punctuation problem
changed,
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either existing
Correct word choice
including
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 the new buildings or
moving
Replace the word
the relocation of
 the location in 1996 and 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1996, the number of buildings
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 only eight
places
Check wording
apply
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 in 2016, it
kindly emerge some new regions
Wrong verb form
had increased
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 to
be
Verb problem
apply
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twelve.
However
Linking Words
, there are some
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 that have been demolished. Increasing the total
of
Check wording
number of
show examples
building
Check wording
buildings
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 from 1996 to 2016, with four new
buildings
Punctuation problem
buildings,
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 has been a great improvement
of
Change preposition
for
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 the museum. There are Computers,
VR
Correct article usage
a VR
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 room,
Solar
Correct article usage
a Solar
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 wind area,
3D
Correct article usage
a 3D
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 cinema,
Digital
Correct article usage
a Digital
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 technology room,
Restaurant
Correct article usage
a restaurant
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, and
Bicycle
Correct article usage
a Bicycle
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 park, which
already
Verb problem
have already
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constructed
Verb problem
been constructed
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Library
Correct article usage
the Library
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 remains
exist
Correct determiner usage
a
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 building in the maps, yet it
is
Wrong verb form
has
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 just
moved
Verb problem
been moved
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 slighly in the top of
previous
Correct determiner usage
its previous
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 position.
However
Linking Words
, by adding new regions of
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
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 and Technology Museum in 2016, about three places, which are
Diesel
Correct article usage
the Diesel
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 engine exhibition,
Cafe
Correct article usage
the Cafe
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, and
Print
Correct article usage
the Print
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 room,
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 demolished and
are changed
Verb problem
replaced
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 by the new building, which
already
Verb problem
was already
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explains
Wrong verb form
explained
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 before.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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