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Writing Samples
Band 5

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely acknowledged that in today's fast-paced world,
cutting edge
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cutting-edge
technology
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 that helps fight against
crime
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 triggers a huge
decrease
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 in
crime
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 rates compared to the past.
While
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 some people believe that there is no strong evidence that shows a
decrease
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 in
crime
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 rates
due to
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 advanced
technology
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, I strongly argue that modern
technology
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 is an effective tool that monitors public
areas
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 and helps collect valuable information, which can deter criminal behaviours.
This
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 essay will elaborate on my position with relevant arguments and examples. The foremost reason to support my view is that monitoring public
areas
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 with the help of
technology
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 is a crackdown on
criminals
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, which was not possible in the past.
This
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 is because surveillance
systems
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 can detect any potential criminal activity that can be prevented immediately by police officers, or
it
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they
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 can help identify the
criminals
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 after they
committed
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have committed
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 a
crime
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 in those
areas
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.
In addition
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, the algorithm they use in those
systems
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 allows police officers to identify whether
criminals
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 have a gun, which can prevent officers from any potential crisis in public.
As a result
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,
offenders
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 cannot find a space where they can hide or escape from the public
forces
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.
For instance
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, metropolitan cities,
such
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 as Montreal and Toronto, the government invests an enormous amount of money in surveillance
systems
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 that can work simultaneously with police patrols, allowing
forces
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 to focus on criminal activities in parks and downtown, and these
systems
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 demonstrate significant results, leading to a huge
decrease
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 in
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crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 rate.
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Therefore
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Therefore,
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 there is a strong positive link between
crime
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 determination and modern technological tools. Another reason to justify my stance is that
post-
Correct article usage
the post-crime
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crime
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 process and data have a great impact on
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crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate. Data collection, supported by modern
technology
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, allows public
forces
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 to identify
offenders
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.
However
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, the data is complex, which requires advanced tools to solve
crime
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 files. Modern
technology
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 can help understand the complexity
and
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, and
show examples
 it generates notable results
such
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 as fingerprint identification.
As a result
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,
criminals
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 have difficulty committing a
crime
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 because of the probability of being sentenced. To illustrate, in the USA, public
forces
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 use AI
technology
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 to create a criminal image of a possible offender after investigation, resulting in a
decrease
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 in
crime
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 rate because
offenders
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 cannot see hope to escape the aftermath of committing a
crime
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.
Thus
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, these advanced tools can prevent
criminals
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 from committing a
crime
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. In conclusion,
although
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 the government implements stricter regulations,
criminals
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 can escape and break the rules easily.
However
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, advanced
technology
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 can
decrease
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crime
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 rates, enabling public
forces
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 to identify
offenders
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 before or after a
crime
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 occurs. I firmly maintain that modern
technology
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 helps track potential
criminals
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 in public
areas
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 and collect vital information from
areas
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 where a
crime
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 occurs.

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task response
Make your main idea more direct in each body paragraph.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and more clearly linked to your point.
task response
Explain how each example shows that crime is lower now, not only how police can catch people.
coherence and cohesion
Link some sentences more smoothly so the ideas move step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with repetition of words like crime, criminals, and public forces.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long. Break them into shorter parts for clearer flow.
task response
Your opinion is clear from the start and stays the same all through the essay.
task response
You answer the question well and discuss both stopping crime and solving crime.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on one main idea, which helps the reader follow your thinking.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance cameras
  • advanced security systems
  • potential criminals
  • law enforcement
  • AI (artificial intelligence)
  • big data analytics
  • forensic science
  • public awareness
  • social media
  • online platforms
  • crime prevention
  • crime rates
  • counterargument
  • cybercrime
  • technological misconduct
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