IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is important to give presents to friends and family to show that we care about them. others think that there are better ways to show that we care.

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The expression of affection and
care
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
love
Wrong verb form
loved
show examples
ones
Use synonyms
 is becoming increasingly debatable these days
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
While
Linking Words
 it is thought by a section of society that
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 way to show
care
Use synonyms
 is giving
gifts
Use synonyms
 to dear
ones
Use synonyms
 ,others
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, however
show examples
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 are of
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 view that there are many ways to give importance to
friend
Check wording
friends
show examples
 and family.From my perspective,
although
Linking Words
gifts
Use synonyms
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 importance to people
but
Correct word choice
,
show examples
 attention,
care
Use synonyms
 and responsibility are
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
to
Check wording
way to
show examples
 show
love
Use synonyms
 to near
ones
Use synonyms
. In the course of
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will give the reasons
quoting
Punctuation problem
, quoting
show examples
 pertinent examples to substantiate
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 views. On the one hand, proponents of giving presents believe that giving presents
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 people feel loved and appreciated. A thoughtful gift can create happy memories and strengthen the relationship, especially on certain occasions
such
Linking Words
 as
birthday
Check wording
birthdays
show examples
, weddings and festivals.
For instance
Linking Words
,a handmade card made by a child for his parents
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them feel happy because it
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 effort and
love
Use synonyms
 rather than its value.
Linking Words
in
Capitalize the word
In
show examples
 addition,
gifts
Use synonyms
sometime
Rephrase
sometimes
show examples
 express feelings that cannot be put into words.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, advocates of
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 view think that there are other ways to
care
Use synonyms
 that have
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
 impact. Spending quality time with
Use synonyms
love
Replace the word
loved
ones
Use synonyms
, helping them during difficult situations and listening to their problems often mean more than spending on
expansive
Correct word choice
expensive
show examples
gifts
Use synonyms
. For illustration, visiting a member of
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
 or supporting a friend in
difficult
Correct article usage
a difficult
show examples
 time can provide emotional comfort that no gift can replace. In my opinion, giving
gifts
Use synonyms
 is
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 and thoughtful tradition,
Linking Words
however
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it should not be considered
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 way to
affection
Verb problem
show affection
show examples
,people
Punctuation problem
. People
show examples
 usually remember only support,
love
Use synonyms
 and time shared with their
Use synonyms
love
Replace the word
loved
ones
Use synonyms
.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, caring options are more meaningful than expensive things. In conclusion,
gifts
Use synonyms
 are good ways to give
loves
Check wording
love
show examples
 to close
ones
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 focus should be on other meaningful means
to
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 like
care
Use synonyms
, support and attention.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You did this, but your own view can be stronger and clearer in all parts.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are good, but they need deeper support.
task response
Use examples with a little more detail so they feel more real and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make some long sentences shorter. This will help the reader follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Check linking words and punctuation. Some parts join ideas in a way that feels unclear.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea, then add support in a clear order.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You used examples to support your points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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