IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In town and cities, the large shopping mall should replace the small local shop. do you agree or disagree?

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The impact of the large shopping
mall
Use synonyms
should replace
Wrong verb form
replacing
show examples
 small local
shop
Check wording
shops
show examples
 has become the subject of discussion in recent times. As society
continuous
Replace the word
continues
 to progress, the number of emerging topics has increased significantly, reflecting
complexity
Correct article usage
the complexity
show examples
 of modern life. Among these diverse debates, one subject that requires particular attention is
large
Correct article usage
the large
show examples
 shopping
mall
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the various dimensions of the issue, consider both
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
 where relevant, and present a logical conclusion in response to the question.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is essential to highlight the positive
aspect
Check wording
aspects
show examples
 of
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
mall
Use synonyms
. The most important point that
demonstrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrates
show examples
 its constructive role lies in the fact that people can buy anything and
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
save time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one roof.
For example
Linking Words
, they can buy groceries,
foods
Check wording
food
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, clothing and even bring their children to play in the
mall
Use synonyms
 playground.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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this
Linking Words
 has shaped economic growth,
expand
Wrong verb form
expanded
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 access to opportunities, and
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
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 standards of living in many parts of the world.
Such
Linking Words
 development clearly
indicate
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicates
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 that the advantages of large
Use synonyms
mall
Check wording
malls
show examples
 extend beyond convenience.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the topic that must
also
Linking Words
 be considered.
For instance
Linking Words
, to
further
Linking Words
 discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the topic, research has been conducted by various agencies explaining the topic in various ways
from
Change preposition
, such as
show examples
 social imbalance, stress and
reduce
Replace the word
reduced
 quality of life.
Although
Linking Words
 large
mall
Use synonyms
 contributes to advancement,
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 negative consequences can not be overlooked. In conclusion, large
mall
Use synonyms
 has both positive
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 and notable drawbacks that
individuals
Verb problem
affect individuals
show examples
 and society in different ways. The best approach is to
recognize
Change the spelling
recognise
show examples
 its
benefit
Check wording
benefits
show examples
while
Linking Words
 carefully managing its challenges to achieve balanced progress.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree or disagree in the first part.
task response
Stay on one idea: should big malls replace small local shops. Do not write about general change in society.
task response
Give more clear main ideas. Explain why malls are good or why small shops are important.
task response
Use real and clear examples. Your example about buying many things is good, but you need one more example about local shops or jobs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not natural. Use simple links like First, Also, However, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main point and explain it fully.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too general and repeat the topic. Add direct support after each main point.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion, so the essay feels complete.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphs, and this helps the reader follow your ideas.
task response
You gave one clear example about shopping, food, clothes, and a play area in one place.
task response
You tried to look at both sides of the topic, which is a good start.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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