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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.

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The line graph demonstrates the quantities of
good
Check wording
goods
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 transported in the UK from 1974 to 2002 by four
various
Correct word choice
different
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 models of
vehicle
Check wording
vehicles
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, significant changes can be seen in the line graph over
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
. At the
beginning
Punctuation problem
beginning,
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 the quantity of
road
Use synonyms
 remained stable;
however
Linking Words
, it
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
show examples
 an upward trend.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the
goods transported of
Correct word order
amount of water transported
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water
Use synonyms
 declined, it stayed at the same point as
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start.
Moreover
Linking Words
, rail stayed constant and increased by the end of the period.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the second half of the
70s
Add a comma
70s,
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 the goods transported in Uk of
road
Use synonyms
represent
Wrong verb form
represented
show examples
 nearly 70
million
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 it has
marginnaly
Correct your spelling
marginally
 increased, but the
road
Use synonyms
 showed an upward trend
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same rate. From 1985 to 2000, there was a considerable increase
by
Change preposition
of
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 approximately 20
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
, reaching its highest point.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 1975,
water
Use synonyms
 and rail were at the same level;
however
Linking Words
, by 1980 they had
dieverged
Correct your spelling
diverged
. The
water
Use synonyms
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
show examples
 an increase
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 about 50
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
, and remained stable until 1995, and in 2000 the
water
Use synonyms
 increased to just over 60
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
. In firts half of
80s
Correct article usage
the 80s
show examples
, the
road
Use synonyms
 fell, and in 2000 it
the
Verb problem
was
show examples
 at the same level as in 1975. Pipeline
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
show examples
 the
smallest
Correct word choice
lowest
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 rate to approximately 5
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
, and
rised
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to nearly 22
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and remained stable over the next decade.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, water, million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Transported goods
  • Quantities
  • Trends
  • Modes of transport
  • Rail
  • Road
  • Water
  • Pipeline
  • Fluctuations
  • Predominance
  • Economic influences
  • Societal changes
  • Technological advancements
  • Environmental impact
  • Growth
  • Steady increase/decrease
  • Comparison
  • Period (e.g., decade, years)
  • Examination
  • Implications
  • Analysis
  • Conclusion
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