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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think young people are not suitable for important position in the government while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on the positions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some cities have
vehicle-free
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days
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 when private cars, trucks and motorcycles are banned from the city centre. On these
days
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,
people
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 are encouraged to use public
transport
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such
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 as buses, taxis and the metro.
While
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 there are some drawbacks to
this
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 policy, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, there are several benefits of having
vehicle-free
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days
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.
Firstly
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, it can greatly reduce air pollution in the city centre. When fewer cars are on the road, the emissions of harmful gases like carbon dioxide and nitrogen oxides decrease significantly.
This
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 can improve public health because
people
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 breathe cleaner air.
Secondly
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, it encourages
people
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 to use public transportation more often.
This
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 can help to reduce traffic congestion, not only on
vehicle-free
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days
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 but
also
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 on normal
days
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, because
people
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 may develop a habit of using buses or the metro.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some disadvantages. One major drawback is that it can cause inconvenience for
people
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 who need to travel to the city centre for work or an emergency. Many
people
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 rely on their private cars to carry heavy items or to reach places that are not well-served by public
transport
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. On
vehicle-free
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days
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, these
people
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 may face difficulties.
For instance
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, a shop owner who
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to
transport
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 goods to his store may find it very hard to do so without a car.
Additionally
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, public
transport
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 systems may become overcrowded and suffocating on these
days
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, which can make the journey uncomfortable and time-consuming.
Thus
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, discouraging
people
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 from supporting the policy in the long term. In my opinion, the advantages of
vehicle-free
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days
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 are more significant than the disadvantages.
Although
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 there are some short-term inconveniences, the long-term benefits for the environment and public health are much greater. The problem of overcrowding can be solved by improving and increasing the number of public
transport
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 infrastructure.
Therefore
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, I think that cities should continue to organise
such
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days
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.
To conclude
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,
while
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vehicle-free
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days
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 can cause some difficulties for certain
people
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, the positive effects on reducing pollution and promoting sustainable
transport
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 are more important.

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coherence cohesion
Write one clear idea in each part, then explain it more.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Do not make a sentence too long.
task achievement
Give one more clear example for the bad side and the good side.
task achievement
Check small grammar errors like 'need' and 'discouraging'.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
task achievement
You answer both sides and give your opinion clearly.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant to the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deep understanding
  • professional relationships
  • effective governance
  • fresh and innovative ideas
  • modernizing government policies
  • contemporary issues
  • familiarity with technology
  • social media
  • digital age
  • adaptable
  • open to change
  • progressive policies
  • emotional maturity
  • decision-making skills
  • gravitas
  • authority
  • leadership positions
  • democratic representation
  • policymaking
  • balanced and inclusive governance
  • competence
  • passion
  • dedication
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