IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

‘Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past. This behaviour is now having a negative impact on society.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
It is widely acknowledged that Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past , and
this
Linking Words
 is a hard stance for parents. First and foremost, the parents should have taught their toddlers at a certain age about how they can respect themselves before anyone else , starting with some actions in front of them to emphasise a pillow on the ground. The mom should take it back to the sofa in front of the children's eyes. Those small things could impact their behaviour later more than no one imagine. Another clear example is by talking to them directly face to face A clear illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is a mother with a child in the same room she try to make him understand the aspect of the respect vocab
In addition
Linking Words
 speaking about variety of situations
for instance
Linking Words
 helping his teammate in their homework or helping the old generation in passing the street those are invaluable conversion it will impact of their lives when they grow up.
This
Linking Words
 is primarily
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that a statistic has been published in a well-regarded magazine online , the main subject was about children and behaviour , which
also
Linking Words
 talked about a feasible solution,
such
Linking Words
 as talking and actions , which I have mentioned above. In conclusion, it is essential that we all know that we are human beings , and little things and even large ones will invade our brains if we let them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts of the task: talk about why this change happens and how it hurts society.
task response
Make your main idea clear in each body paragraph, then add one simple example.
task response
Stay on the topic. Some parts talk about how to teach children, but not enough about the bad effect on society.
coherence cohesion
Use a clear plan: introduction, 2 body paragraphs, conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, for example, and as a result.
coherence cohesion
Write shorter sentences. This will make your meaning easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You try to give examples from life.
task response
Your essay stays mostly on the topic of children and parents.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • individualism
  • traditional values
  • authority
  • communication dynamics
  • pervasive
  • social networks
  • critical thinking
  • authoritarian
  • economic stressors
  • power structures
  • juvenile delinquency
  • family units
  • community cohesion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: