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Band 7.5

The charts below show employment rates of males and females of different ages and the average age of their youngest child.

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The charts below show employment rates of males and females of different ages and the average age of their youngest child.
The charts give information about the percentage of male and female employees across various ages,
as well as
Linking Words
 the
age
Use synonyms
 of their youngest
child
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the majority of
both
Use synonyms
 male and female workers were in the 35-49
age
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group
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,
while
Linking Words
 the most common
age
Use synonyms
 of their
child
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 was 16-20 for men, and 6-10 for women. Looking at the first chart, it is evident that the employment peaked for
both
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males
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 and
females
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 aged between 35 and 49, reaching about 80% for each one. The lowest employment rates for
both
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 genders were recorded in the 16-25
age
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group
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, accounting for 20% and 15%, respectively. Employees who were 60+ for female in 25%,
while
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males
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 represented 10% more than
females
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. The workers for
both
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 men and women aged between 50 and 59 , reaching 80% and 70%, respectively. Whilst the 26-34
age
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group
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 represented nearly 67% for each gender. Turning to the second graph, it is apparent that about 60% of employees' children aged no older than five years old
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child
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 were 60% of
males
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 and
females
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.
While
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 the
males
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 were in the 6 to 25
age
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group
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 represented almost the same percentage, with about 75%, it is apparent that the highest employee
child
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 rates for man was recorded in the 16-20
age
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group
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, at a little more than 75%. The lowest rates for female was recorded in 6-10, reaching about 55%. And the remaining
age
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 groups for
females
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 are almost the same , with 65%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, child, both, group, males, females with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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