IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that a person improves intellectual skills better when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

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In recent decades, working in a team has become the most productive activity among co-operate world.
While
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 some people believe that
teamwork
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 helps to enhance their knowledge, others believe that
,
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apply
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 being in group activities can slow down the
process
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 of learning. I strongly agree with the former view. In
this
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 essay, I will show how
teamwork
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 is better than an individual
task
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. On the one hand,
teamwork
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 is essential to complete the
task
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. It helps you to learn new
skills
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 which are beneficial for your personal and professional growth.
For instance
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, if you are working in a multinational company,
then
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 you should be working in an agile framework, which will reduce your work pressure and tend to work in teams by splitting the big assignment into small tasks among all team members.
By
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In
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this
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 way, you can easily achieve your target,
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as well as
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and
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 you can share your expertise with your peers. You can use those
skills
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 in your next
task
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 individually.
On the other hand
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, dependency is the major drawback when you are working in
group
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a group
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.
For example
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, if there is any activity given to
new
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a new
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 joiner and their result will be
using
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used
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 as a reference to your next
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task
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task,
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then
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 that will slow down the
process
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, cause
thet
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the
 fresher or less
experience
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experienced
 person will take time to understand the
process
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and
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, and
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this
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 can lead to
slow
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slowing
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 down the whole assignment, but you can change
this
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 behaviour by providing
trainings
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training
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 or by conducting sessions. In my opinion, working in
team
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a team
show examples
have
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has
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 some negative consequences, but
their
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its
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 benefits are much higher than the drawbacks.
By segregating
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Segregating
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 the big tasks
in a group
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into groups
show examples
 will lead to success and
positive
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a positive
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 work atmosphere.
Moreover
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, it will enhance
employee's
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employees'
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 or
student's
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students'
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 confidence and knowledge. They can learn new
skills
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 with
expert's
Correct article usage
an expert's
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advise
Replace the word
advice
, and it will help them in
a
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the
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 long run. In conclusion,
teamwork
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 is the key to
succses
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success
, you can learn new
brainstroming
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brainstorming
 things,
skills
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 from it.
Although
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 it
have
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has
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 some drawbacks like depending on others or
slow
Wrong verb form
slowing
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 down the
process
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,
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 advantages are more valuable and admirable.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in each body part. Keep focus on how group work builds thinking skills.
task response
Give one clear reason in each body part, then explain it well.
task response
Use more specific examples. Your work example is useful, but it needs more detail and a clearer link to intellectual skills.
task response
Make your main view very clear from start to end. You agree, so most of the essay should support that view.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a simpler order: topic sentence, explanation, example, short result.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Words like 'for example', 'however', 'therefore', and 'as a result' can help the flow.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and hard to follow. Split them into two or three shorter sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Check word form and grammar in key sentences, because small errors sometimes hide your meaning.
task response
You answer the task and give a clear opinion: you agree that team work is better.
task response
You include both sides of the topic, which shows a balanced response.
task response
You use an example from work, so your ideas are not too general.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic shape: introduction, body, body, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are grouped in the right paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and easy to find.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual skills
  • group activities
  • collaborative learning
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • diverse perspectives
  • creativity
  • individual study
  • personal reflection
  • autonomy
  • learning styles
  • approaches
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