IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging for products they sell. Others say it is the resposibility of the consumers to avoid such products. Discuss and give your opinion.

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Public believe that shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are the accountable to limit the packaging of selling items.
However
Linking Words
, others are of the opinion that customers should refrain
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from
such
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 goods.
This
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 issue
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 has sparked considerable debate
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I partially agree with the statement.The essay will present
well supported
Correct your spelling
well-supported
 arguments to justify my stance and
clears
Wrong verb form
clarify
show examples
 my position. One of the most compelling reasons is that grocery stores choose the
products
Use synonyms
 that are to be sold in their space.
Ultimately
Punctuation problem
Ultimately,
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 it is in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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their hand to opt for the
products
Use synonyms
 that are
environmently
Replace the word
environmentally
 friendly,
biodegrable ans
Correct your spelling
biodegradable and
 sustainable.
Secondly
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, they can
also
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 make policies to check the
products
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
against the
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 standards of ISO guidelines .They can
also
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 ask for ISO certification from manufacturers before displaying
such
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products
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, in many developed countries like Japan
stores
Punctuation problem
, stores
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 are fined if they display
products
Use synonyms
 that
doesnot
Correct your spelling
do not
 comply with international standards.
Thirdly
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, retail
store
Check wording
stores
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 should pay more attention
on
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to
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 the secondary packaging they
are providing
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provide
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 to customers.
For instance
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, they can provide paper bags and other sustainable coverings to limit the use of plastic. In
this
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 way, they can contribute a lot
in
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to
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 making
the
Correct article usage
a
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 safe and sustainable environment.
On the other hand
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, it is in
Correct article usage
the consumer
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consumer
Check wording
consumer's
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 hands to buy
such
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 goods whose packaging
in
Verb problem
does
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 not
causing
Wrong verb form
cause
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 any harm to the environment.If consumers prefer buying environmentally friendly
Use synonyms
products
Punctuation problem
products,
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 it will urge
manufactures
Replace the word
manufacturers
 to make
such
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products
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, purchasers can
also
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 avoid plastic packaging by bringing cloth bags from their homes. In my opinion , together consumers and retailers can make policies that will encourage sustainable
products
Use synonyms
 and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
limit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carbon emissions.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about shops than buyers.
task response
Make your opinion very clear from the start and keep it the same to the end.
task response
Give one more clear example for the consumer side.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence breaks. Some sentences are too long and hard to follow.
task response
You answer both views and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples such as Japan and paper bags.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable packaging
  • bulk buying
  • environmentally friendly
  • power of choice
  • regulatory bodies
  • mandate
  • incentives
  • collaborative efforts
  • reusable containers
  • reduction in packaging waste
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