IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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With
population
Use synonyms
 growth in large cities, providing enough homes for citizens has been a
heated
Rephrase
heatedly
show examples
 discussed topic. There is
argument
Correct article usage
an argument
show examples
 that building
more tall
Replace the word
taller
 apartment blocks, which are able to contain more residents, can be the solution.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, it is not the only way to solve the problem, depending on the practical conditions. Building tall apartment blocks could definitely offer more homes. It is apparent that
he
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 taller
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the building, the more people can live in
.
Correct pronoun usage
it.
show examples
However
Linking Words
, it will bring
burden
Correct article usage
a burden
show examples
 and additional cost to the
conmmunity
Correct your spelling
community
. When the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
community
Use synonyms
 members
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
 drastically, because of the construction of
heap
Correct article usage
a heap
show examples
 of tall buildings, the requirement
of the
Change preposition
for
show examples
 basic
facility
Check wording
facilities
show examples
 would be enhanced.
For instance
Linking Words
, supplying water and gas to cover the whole
community
Use synonyms
 would be a costly
upgraded
Replace the word
upgrade
 project, because the original system is not designed to support
such
Linking Words
 a large
amount of
Check wording
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, it will bring a heavy burden to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation. During the rush hour, people would concentrate to go to work, leading
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
severe
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
 jam at that time, and the public transportation would be so crowded that it would raise the risk of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safety issues,
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
some accidents that people leave remains after stepping
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 each other.
Therefore
Linking Words
, gathering a large amount of
population
Use synonyms
 in one tall apartment
blocks
Fix the agreement mistake
block
show examples
 is not a
wide
Correct word choice
wise
show examples
 decision. In my opinion, there are many developing districts surrounding the large cities
, distributing
Punctuation problem
. Distributing
show examples
 the over-redundant
population
Use synonyms
 to these areas may be a good choice, since travelling time from these areas to downtown would not be so long. What’s more, the estate price of developing areas
are cheaper
Correct subject-verb agreement
is lower
show examples
 than
the
Correct pronoun usage
that of
show examples
 large cities, allowing the developers to build the
community
Use synonyms
 with a more valid structure, improving the living environment of the residents. With lower
price
Check wording
prices
show examples
, better living environment and not a far distance to
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, the workers in large
city
Check wording
cities
show examples
 may be attracted to buy the house in these communities. Meanwhile, the economy of the developing districts will be improved, forming a win-win situation. Building
home
Check wording
homes
show examples
 for the growing
population
Use synonyms
 is an indispensable problem, but
tall
Correct article usage
a tall
show examples
apartments
Fix the agreement mistake
apartment
show examples
community
Use synonyms
 is not the
solely
Correct word choice
sole
show examples
 solution. The surrounding districts should be fully
utilized
Change the spelling
utilised
show examples
, helping to
burden
Verb problem
relieve
show examples
 the
population
Use synonyms
 pressure and
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 their own economy.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear from the start. Say if you mostly agree or mostly disagree, and keep this line all through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear reason for your view, and explain it step by step.
task response
Use examples that are more real and easy to understand. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph. Some parts now have too many ideas together.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some links are good, but some sentences do not flow in a smooth way.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order so each point leads well to the next point.
task response
You answer the question and give your own view.
task response
You include both the tall building idea and another way to solve the housing problem.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on one broad topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing shortage = not enough homes for people
  • apartment block = a large building with many flats
  • high-rise building = a very tall building
  • limited land = not much land available
  • population growth = the number of people increases
  • urban spread = the city grows into outer areas
  • public transport = buses, trains, and metro systems
  • living conditions = the quality of daily life at home
  • city planning = the way a city is designed and managed
  • green space = parks and open natural areas
  • daily needs = things people need every day
  • costly land = land that is very expensive
  • mixed housing = different kinds of homes in one area
  • sense of community = the feeling of belonging with neighbors
  • traffic pressure = too many cars on the roads
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