Nowaday, many government budget money for the sports industry. Why do you think governments are funding sports so heavily? Do you think this an appropriate investment?

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The
government
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is allocating more funds for
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sports
Correct article usage
the sports
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industry
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.There are multiple reasons for investing in
sports
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.Financing
sports
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encourage
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encourages
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fitness , creates employment opportunities and promotes tourism. I
thinks
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think
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investing in
sports
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is highly
benefical
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beneficial
for
the
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apply
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society.
This
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essay will preset well supported arguments to justify my stance.
Firstly
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, one of the most compelling reasons is that funding
sports
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will encourage people towards physical fitness.
For instance
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, if
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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make more parks and
gyms
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gyms,
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it will encourage more people to do
physcial
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physical
exercise.
As a result
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, it will have
positive
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a positive
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effect on the health of society.
Secondly
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, investing in
sports
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will create more job opportunities.
For example
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, arranging a
sport
Replace the word
sports
event will create opportunities for many healthcare
worker
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workers
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,local vendors and
transport
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the transport
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industry
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.
Lastly
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, if
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government
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the government
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supports sport
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industry
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industry,
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it will encourage tourism in the country.Many
tourist
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tourists
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will come to see the local
sports
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.
For instance
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, it was reported that when the world hockey tournament was arranged by the
Pakistan's
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Pakistani
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government
Punctuation problem
government,
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a significant number tourist visited Pakistan in that specific year.
To sum up
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, the
goverment
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government
should invest in sport
industry
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but
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, but
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developing a balanced approach is necessary.
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Government
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The government
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should allocate funds for
sports
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but
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, but
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at the same time
investing
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, investing
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in other
sector
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sectors
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such
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as health and education is equally essential.
Hence
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,
accquiring
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acquiring
a sustainable and balanced approach is more practical.

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task response
Answer both questions more clearly. You explain why governments fund sports, but your view about if this is a good use of money should be stronger from start to end.
task response
Add one more clear idea about why sports funding is right or not right. This will make your answer more full.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Your examples are relevant, but some feel too general or not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this structure.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Words like firstly, secondly, lastly, and to sum up help, but some sentences need smoother connection.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main point and explain it a little more before moving to the next point.
task response
You answer the main topic and give reasons like health, jobs, and tourism.
task response
Your opinion is clear: you think sports funding is good, but balance is also important.
coherence and cohesion
You use a simple and easy paragraph plan with introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas mostly follow a logical order.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • physical activity
  • health
  • boost
  • tourism
  • economy
  • foster
  • national pride
  • unity
  • employment opportunities
  • reputation
  • investment
  • talent
  • infrastructure
  • facilities
What to do next:
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