IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many old buildings are protected by law because they are part of a nation's history. However, some people think old buildings should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Old
buildings
Use synonyms
 not only are still useful, but
also
Linking Words
 keep
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
Use synonyms
 alive. Not all of them have enough
history
Use synonyms
 to say that it's better to maintain it. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 only the
buildings
Use synonyms
 that really involve
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
history
Use synonyms
 could be
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained
show examples
, because
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 will remain to the
people
Use synonyms
 the traditions, culture, and stories that
relavant
Correct your spelling
relevant
people
Use synonyms
 lived before, and
this
Linking Words
 is part of the formal education of each person. Most of the countries of the world at least have important
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 help to
constructed
Wrong verb form
construct
show examples
 the nation, or fight for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independence, or are just important because
They
Fix capitalization
they
show examples
 changed the social, political, economical or even musical environment of their countries. When
people
Use synonyms
 see the places where
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 lived and where they
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
 their acts, these places or
buildings
Use synonyms
 help to reconstruct the stories and are useful for
imagine how was the situation
Correct word order
imagining what the situation was like
show examples
 before. So every time
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
will
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
see
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
buildings
Use synonyms
 or
monuments
Punctuation problem
monuments,
show examples
 they are able to
remain
Verb problem
retain
show examples
 the
history
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 learn about it.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 nowadays human beings are capable to maintain
this
Linking Words
buildings
Use synonyms
 in good
conditions
Check wording
condition
show examples
, even they can
modernize
Change the spelling
modernise
show examples
 them
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 without
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 their principal structure and fronts.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 it's true that the cities of the world have to continue with
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 development.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
 they have to build new
buildings
Use synonyms
 that allow
people
Use synonyms
work
Verb problem
to work
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 better and modern environments that let them work efficiently and
also
Linking Words
 that offer development resources. New
buildings
Use synonyms
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
 new
technologye
Correct your spelling
technology
 as well,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 could improve the efficiency, productivity and production of different companies,
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
, shops, offices, etc. In conclussion some
buildings
Use synonyms
 would be knocked down to make way
progress
Change preposition
for progress
show examples
 and development.
However
Linking Words
 that old
buildings
Use synonyms
 that have important
history
Use synonyms
 for human beings should be
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained
show examples
. If we knocked down these
Use synonyms
buildings
Punctuation problem
buildings,
show examples
 we would
knocked
Wrong verb form
knock
show examples
 down our traditions, culture,
history
Use synonyms
 and even some part of our lives.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. Say clearly how important old buildings are and if history should stop progress.
task response
Give one or two clear examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Some ideas are good, but they need more detail.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas in a simpler and smoother way. Some sentences are long and hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Check reference words and sentence order so the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence cohesion
The main idea of each body paragraph is different, which helps the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Heritage conservation
  • Cultural landmarks
  • Architectural integrity
  • Sustainable development
  • Urban regeneration
  • Historic edifice
  • Adaptive reuse
  • Urban sprawl
  • Civic pride
  • Cultural identity
  • Aesthetic value
  • Preservation vs. Progress debate
  • Innovative restoration
  • Community engagement
  • Economic revitalization
What to do next:
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