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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows percentages of young people choosing different ways to solve the global warming in four different countries in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of young
people
Use synonyms
 selecting four different methods to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming in Portugal,
Spain
Use synonyms
, Italy and
Use synonyms
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the lifestyle changes
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the most popular way between the countries as it reached a peak in Portugal,
while
Linking Words
 its slowest point was in
Use synonyms
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 , and it decreased
around
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
countries
Correct word choice
other countries
show examples
 .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the other approaches recorded the same percentages among the young
people
Use synonyms
. In terms of Portugal, the proportion of young
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 used lifestyle changes to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming was about 50%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it declined to around 38% in
Spain
Use synonyms
 . The percentage of government regulations was 20% in Portugal
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it slightly decreased to above 15% in
Spain
Use synonyms
 . The young
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 used the environmental issues way were higher in
Spain
Use synonyms
 than in Portugal ( 28% and around 20%
)
Punctuation problem
,
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 respectively.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the other methods remained stable.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the percentage of young
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 used lifestyle changes
manner
Check wording
apply
show examples
in Italy was higher than in
Use synonyms
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 (30% and above 20%
)
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 respectively. The proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government regulations dropped from 20% in Italy to almost 18% in
Use synonyms
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 .
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
that utilized
Correct pronoun usage
who utilised
show examples
 environmental issues fell from 28% in Italy to 20% in
Use synonyms
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, spain, netherlands with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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