IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that organizing international sports events is good for the host country while others think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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There is an ongoing debate about organising sports
events
Use synonyms
. Some people think that holding international
events
Use synonyms
 is advantageous for the host country,
while
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 others argue that it has some repercussions. From my point of view, it is largely beneficial for the local economy and international reputation. There are some negative aspects of organising international
events
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.
Firstly
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, it has a profound impact on the environment. Many individuals,
such
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 as fans, sportsmen, and others, spend a little duration there. Thousands of flights, throwing harmful items,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 disadvantageous for the local environment.
Additionally
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, travellers visit some tourist attractions, including traditional masterpieces
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and madrasahs. People can harm them.
For example
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, 30% of important conventional buildings were damaged by international tourists in FIFA 2022.
Secondly
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, governments build massive facilities and
need
Correct article usage
a need
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 for sports
events
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,
such
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 as stadiums, and fan seats. It is called a wasted building. After the
events
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 are finished, much of the equipment is not used for any purpose. Despite these downsides, I firmly agree that it is advantageous.
Initially
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, it has a profound influence on the local economy. Visitors buy tickets, spend their time on hostel, and buy some groceries. The most useful benefit is that they can communicate with local residents by sharing ideas. It has a substantial influence not only on local individuals
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 on international visitors, strengthening their social bonds. They post some content online, which gives an opportunity to improve the reputation of the host country, because everyone from diverse countries can watch them. In conclusion,
while
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 international sports harm the environment and have some negative outcomes, it is highly advantageous for the local economy and reputation.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. The bad side is clear, but the good side needs one more strong idea.
task response
State your opinion in a direct way and keep it the same through the essay.
task response
Use examples that sound real and clear. The FIFA 2022 example is not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easy to follow. Start the paragraph with one clear point, then explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences do not connect well. Check grammar so your meaning is easier to understand.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are grouped into paragraphs in a clear way.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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