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Band 5

IELTS 13 TEST 4 Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy,with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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People believe that
organistaion
Correct your spelling
organisation
 is the key for living decorated
life
Use synonyms
 and success. It develops a habit of doing
work
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 on
time
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it takes less
efforts
Check wording
effort
show examples
 to finish any kind of task. In my
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
this
Linking Words
 statement is absolutely correct
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it can improve
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 ability to become more efficient.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, an unorganised
life
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 impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
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a person's daily
life
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 decisions and their career
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
 a long period. That being said, take an example of an individual whose
work
Use synonyms
 desk is well managed and everything is
alligned
Correct your spelling
aligned
according to
Linking Words
 their needs.
This
Linking Words
 helps them to not to panic when something urgent arrives at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, an important document needed at the meeting could be lost if the
Use synonyms
work station
Correct your spelling
workstation
 was never
tide
Wrong verb form
tidied
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, someone who hasn't managed his desk would
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 essential items when they are most needed.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 habit would not only help
proffessionally
Correct your spelling
professionally
 but personally as well. People who are tidy
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
tend to achieve more in their lives
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they can overcome
procastination
Correct your spelling
procrastination
 with smaller steps towards their goals. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, a human being with a fixed schedule or
time
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 table are more focused
toward
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their purpose and
are more
Correct subject-verb agreement
is less
show examples
 likely
not
Rephrase
apply
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to facinate from any unwanted desires.
This
Linking Words
 brings peace in their lives, so that they can put more
efforts
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effort
show examples
 towards their career and family. They always have an advantage to have more
time
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 to spend with
the
Correct article usage
their
show examples
 loved ones because they customise their schedule to maintain
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
 between their
work
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 and home
life
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, tideness is
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 crucial skill that one must master to live a better and
fruitful
Rephrase
more fruitful
show examples
life
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.
This
Linking Words
 simple practice would help to save
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of energy and
time
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 a person can spend on something they love.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in each body paragraph. Keep linking your ideas to home and work.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each paragraph, then add one short example.
task response
Some examples are general. Add one more real or clear example to make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Now make each paragraph flow more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, for example, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar and word choice. Shorter sentences can help your ideas sound clearer.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep it through the essay.
task response
You cover both work life and personal life, so your answer feels complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has four clear parts: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use examples to support your ideas, especially about the desk and schedule.
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