Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

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Salary

play

Correct subject-verb agreement

plays

show examples

a crucial role in choosing the job. In the

contempory

Correct your spelling

contemporary

era, where

industry

Correct article usage

the industry

show examples

of entertainment is exponcially increased, several citizens has aruged that celebrities are

recieved

Wrong verb form

receiving

show examples

too many dollars. Even though some advocates might claim that it is admittedly

resonable

Correct word choice

reasonable

show examples

due to

Linking Words

exceptional popularity, efforts of

engineers

Use synonyms

have been absolutely underestimated

about

Change preposition

show examples

creating invaluable snuffs so far. The author defintiely believe that salary of film stars are too high

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

engineers

Use synonyms

are paid more.

To begin

Linking Words

with, characteristics of

this

Linking Words

domain describe the matter pertaining to

this

Linking Words

theme.

Although

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

countless entertainments provide a sense of fun, refreshment

and

Correct word choice

show examples

etc., with customers, it is limited to

improvement about

Replace the word

improving their

leisure life.

In other words

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society can survive without

entertainments

Check wording

entertainment

show examples

However

Linking Words

, myriad

engineers

Use synonyms

, who make cellphones,

semi-conductors

Correct your spelling

semiconductors

, and roads, and manage these domains, must exist in our city for maintaining the

techologies

Correct your spelling

technologies

for the

communitiy

Correct your spelling

community

. If they are eliminated, almost

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

all

infrastructures

Correct article usage

the infrastructures

show examples

of our

socitey

Correct your spelling

society

are destroyed.

Consequently

Linking Words

, primarily, we needs to

this

Linking Words

technologies

than

Rephrase

more than

show examples

advanced leisure

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

. In

this

Linking Words

context, in order to induce the becoming

engineers

Use synonyms

commumities

Correct your spelling

communities

must

recieve

Correct your spelling

receive

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money than

sport

Check wording

sports

show examples

stars. Currently, entertainers take the

planty

Correct your spelling

plenty of

income through commercial advertisements caused by their

popularities

Check wording

popularity

show examples

. As a

results

Fix the agreement mistake

result

show examples

, many pupils want to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities to get not only fame but

also

Linking Words

bill

Correct article usage

a bill

show examples

However

Linking Words

, our society needs

machinist

Check wording

machinists

show examples

more,

whereas

Linking Words

requires

Correct pronoun usage

it requires

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

few pop stars. So,

salary

Correct article usage

the salary

show examples

engineers

Use synonyms

should be increased. In conclusion,

income

Correct article usage

the income

show examples

of celebrities has been dicussed about whether it is

resonable

Correct word choice

reasonable

show examples

. Despite their popularity, it is significantly overestimated

Change preposition

apply

show examples

now, and

engineers

Use synonyms

paid

Verb problem

are paid

show examples

more highly.

48484829020

Jul 21, 2026

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task response

Answer both parts more fully. Say clearly why you think stars are paid too much, and explain more about which jobs should get high pay.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. Start each paragraph with one simple point, then explain it.

task response

Give one or two clear examples. For example, say how engineers help with roads, phones, or hospitals.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas in a simple way. Use words like First, Also, However, and So.

coherence and cohesion

Make your ending match your main ideas. Repeat your opinion and the job group you support in a clear way.

task response

You gave a clear opinion: you think stars are paid too much and engineers should earn more.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a basic structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task response

Most of your ideas stay on the topic of pay, stars, and engineers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Robots and artificial intelligent are being developed to replace humans in the workplace Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

The internet provides us with information about life and cultures of different countries and some people say it is not necessary to visit these countries to learn about them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people prefer to help or support directly in the local community for people who need it; however, others prefer to give money to the national or private charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.