Many students today graduate from high school and wish to continue their studies overseas. Give the advantages and disadvantages of studying in another country.

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Many
learners
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graduate from high school and want to study abroad. Studying overseas can be beneficial , but challenging at the same time.
This
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essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. On the one hand, studying abroad has several advantages.
First,
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learners
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can meet new
friends
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.
For example
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, studying in another country can be challenging.
However
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, having
friends
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makes them feel comfortable.
This
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allows
students
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to feel safe and comfortable in a new environment.
Second,
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discovering new adventures can be a antastic experience.
Moreover
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, living in a new city is an education in itself.
Also
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,
this
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helps
learners
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understand the traditions and customs of different countries.
Finally
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, learning a second language is amazing.
For example
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,
students
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will learn to communicate easily with people around them.
Moreover
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, it is awesome to be able to learn and speak different languages.
However
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, on the one hand, studying abroad has some big disadvantages.
First,
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it can be challenging without being around loved ones.
For example
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,
this
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makes
students
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feel isolated and bored.
This
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can be difficult when being with people who cannot speak the same language.
Second,
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many
students
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struggle with studying far away from their families.
For instance
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,
this
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can cause
learners
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to be away from relatives. It can
also
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be tough for long-distance families when there is war between countries.
Finally
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, it can be a bit complicated for
students
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to make new
friends
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.
For instance
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, it takes a long time to build trust with
friends
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, especially from different countries.
Students
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also
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might have trouble fitting into student groups. In conclusion,
although
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studying overseas can have advantages, it can
also
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have disadvantages.
Students
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may face difficulties with being isolated
,
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;
show examples
however
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, it's a wonderful experience for personal growth.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Add one more clear idea for each side.
task response
Make your examples more real and more clear. Some examples now are too general.
task response
Explain how each point links to study abroad. Do not only say it is good or hard.
coherence and cohesion
Use better linking words. You wrote 'On the one hand' two times. For the bad side, use 'On the other hand'.
coherence and cohesion
Group similar ideas in one paragraph. Some points repeat the same meaning, like feeling alone and missing family.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and punctuation. A few spaces and commas make reading less smooth.
task response
You answered the full question and wrote about both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are easy to follow, and you use linking words like 'First', 'Second', and 'Finally'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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