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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line chart shows proportion of people aged over 65 between 1940 and 2040 in three countries

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The line graph illustrates the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
the age and over 65 of citizen
Correct word order
aged 65 and over
show examples
 in three different
nations
Use synonyms
, namely,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
, and Japan
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 1940 to 2040. As the graph
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 the
age 65 and over of total inhabitants
Correct word order
proportion of the total inhabitants aged 65 and over
show examples
 in
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
nations
Use synonyms
 is predicted to increase dramatically in 2040.
However
Linking Words
, Japan had the lowest proportion of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 in 1940, in 2040 its residents will account for the
largrest
Correct your spelling
largest
 in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with
others
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 countries. Regarding the
populationaged
Correct your spelling
population aged
 65 and over of
Usa
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 stood at around 9%
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 figure for
people
Use synonyms
 aged 65 and over, compared with approximately 7% in
Sweden
Use synonyms
.
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
 proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 65 and over
of
Change preposition
in the
show examples
USA
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 grew significantly in 1980, at 15% and around 14% respectively. In 1995, these two
nations
Use synonyms
were just
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 decreased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 1%.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the percentage in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 remained stable at around 14% until 2020 before jumping to roughly 23% in
2040
Punctuation problem
2040,
show examples
while
Linking Words
Sweden
Use synonyms
 was considerable rocket at 20% in 2015
, after
Punctuation problem
. After
show examples
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 it went down
approximately
Change preposition
to approximately
show examples
 14% in 2025, and
finally
Linking Words
, the citizen of aged 65 and over are projected to grow at 25% in 2040. In terms of Japan’s population of aged 65 and over, Japan recorded the lowest proportion among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
nations
Use synonyms
, the figure started at 5% in 1940, after that it slowly declined round 3% in the 1960s and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 unchanged until the early 1990s.
there
Capitalize the word
There
show examples
 was a gradual rise
roughly
Change preposition
of roughly
show examples
 10% by 2030, before it is forecast that it will increase
the highest
Change preposition
to
show examples
 nearly 27% in 2040.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, nations, usa, sweden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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