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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of visitors from the USA to Canada in different age groups in 2000 and 2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of USA visitors to Canada in five different
age
Use synonyms
 groups from 2000 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, visitors aged 35 - 54
years
Use synonyms
 tended to take up the largest portion but suddenly
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 after 20
years
Use synonyms
, and the same trend was true for
25
Correct article usage
the 25
show examples
 to 34
age
Use synonyms
 group.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the other
age
Use synonyms
 groups showed the opposite trend
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 each of them gradually rose during the period. In terms of children and
mature
Replace the word
adults
, the young ones (0-15
years
Use synonyms
) took up nearly a tenth of the chart, at 10% in 2000, but there was a
slightly increased
Replace the word
slight increase
 to 12% in 2020. The young adults (16-24
years
Use synonyms
) began at the lowest rates, at 4% in 2000, but after 20
years
Use synonyms
, the figure significantly rose to 15%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the mature individuals (25-34
years
Use synonyms
) comprised 20% in 2000, and the visitors slowly declined by 8%, at 12%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. Regarding the seniors and
elder
Replace the word
elderly
 people, in 2000, the
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 (35-54
years
Use synonyms
)
took
Verb problem
made
show examples
 up
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of all
age
Use synonyms
 groups, at 50% in 2000;
however
Linking Words
, in 2020, there was a remarkable
decresed
Correct your spelling
decrease
 to over a
third,
Linking Words
at 35%. Despite the decline,
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 group
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
still stood
the
Change preposition
as the
show examples
 majority of all others.The people aged 55 and over
years
Use synonyms
 just
strated
Correct your spelling
started
 at 16%, but it remained unchanged after a
20
Correct word choice
20-year
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 period,
made
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 up about 26% in 2020.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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