IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people work for the same organisation all their lives.Others think it is better to work for different organisations.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays,
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
feild
Correct your spelling
field
 is full of multiple companies and
organisation
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organisations
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 for the same organisation all their lives. Others think it is better to
work
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 for different
organaisation
Correct your spelling
organisations
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views before
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 my own opinion. On the
one
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 hand, to those who believe in working for the same company all their lives. They may feel more stability
to
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in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 idea. They may
do
Verb problem
apply
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not have the
careg
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courage
 to switch from
one
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to
Check wording
company to
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other company
Correct determiner usage
another
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. To them it
is mean
Wrong verb form
means
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 to change their
inveronment
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environment
 and their friends.
Moreover
Linking Words
, not all
people
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 have
enogh
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enough
 money to cover their live nedded
while
Linking Words
 they waiting the other chance in a better or different
organaisation
Correct your spelling
organisation
.
In
Change preposition
As
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 a result, they will
stuck
Verb problem
be stuck
show examples
 to their
work
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for ever
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forever
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
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who
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apply
show examples
think that working for different companies is better. They
sems
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seem
 to have more budget and
personalety flexibilety
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personal flexibility
.
In addition
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, they have a bigger view that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them to move from
one
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 to other
work
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.
Change preposition
to another.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
, those who get easy boring from
one
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work
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 roten the whole life, or those who always like to get more new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 and friends in life. To
concloud
Correct your spelling
conclude
,
although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 working
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same
organaisation
Correct your spelling
organisation
 all live
sems
Correct your spelling
seems
 to be more
staibil
Correct your spelling
stable
. In my opinion, working foe different company is more beneficial. It
allowde
Correct your spelling
allows
people
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 to gain more experience and relationships with multiples kind of
people
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Score: 5. Your answer is on topic, and your view is clear. However, the ideas need more detail. Explain why one job gives safety, and why many jobs give more skill and chances.
task response
Give a more clear example. For example: a worker may move to a new company to get a better job, more pay, or new skills.
task response
Do not say that people stay in one job only because they do not have money to wait for another job. This is one possible reason, but it does not fully explain this view. Add reasons such as job safety, long-term pay, and good work friends.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Put one main idea in each paragraph. Then add two or three sentences to explain it before you give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow. Use short, full sentences. For example, write: “They do not want to leave their work friends and start again in a new place.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph stronger. Restate both sides in one short sentence, then give your view and two clear reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words only when they show a clear link. Try: “First”, “Also”, “As a result”, and “For this reason”.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view at the end.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Moreover”, and “For example”.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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