IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

if all workers in a company were paid exact same wage regardless of job role there would be much more harmony and cooperation between staff. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that paying equal wages to all the employees, regardless of their job duties and
responsibilties
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responsibilities
,
create
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creates
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 harmony and collaboration between the staff.
Although
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 equal pay could curtail jealousy and competition among workers, I only partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because every employess have different education,
skills
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 and
experience
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. On the one hand, paying equal salaries could improve the relationship among
the
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apply
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colleagues. In many companies, some
employess
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employees
 become
disatisfied
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dissatisfied
 when they discover other
employee
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 earns more money for doing the same amount of
work
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.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to jealousy and
lack
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a lack
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 of cooperation among the staff members.
For example
Linking Words
, I used to
work
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 in a coffee shop in which all the
employess
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employees
 have the same job responsibilities regardless of their
experience
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. A newly hired
employee
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 earns equal to the
employee
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,
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apply
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 who has been working for more than 2 years in the same shop
and
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, and
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 it was a positive development.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, equal wages for those with advanced
skills
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 and years of
experience
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 would be unfair;
as a result
Linking Words
 reduce the
employee
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's motivation to
work
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 hard. Different jobs require different
skills
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, efforts and qualifications.
For instance
Linking Words
, the job responsibilities of the manager require more
efforts
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effort
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 than
the
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those of the
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 regular worker, making it unreasonable to put
extra
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in extra
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 effort to
work
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 hard.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Pay
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the pay
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 scale should definitely depend on the performance and capability of the individual.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
employee
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 feels unbiased and will put
extry
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extra
 effort
in
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into
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 the workload. In conclusion, undoubtedly, equal pay
reduce
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reduces
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 jealousy and
encourage
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encourages
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 teamwork among the employees
,
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.
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 I believe that workers should be paid
according to
Linking Words
 their
skills
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,
experience
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, responsibility and position.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 companies should maintain fair salary diffefrences ensuring everyone is treated with respect and dignity.

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task response
Estimated score: 6. Your answer is clear and stays on the topic. To get a 7, make your view stronger and explain it more fully. Say why fair pay based on role is more important than harmony from same pay.
task response
The coffee shop example is not fully clear. You say a new worker and a worker with two years of work got the same pay, then say this was positive. Explain who felt this was fair and why.
task response
Your point about managers is good, but add one more clear reason. For example, higher pay can make skilled workers stay in the company and take on more work.
coherence and cohesion
Your main order is good, but some sentences do not link well. In the second body part, the manager example ends with “making it unreasonable to put extra effort to work hard.” It is not clear who would feel this way. Write: “If a manager earns the same as a regular worker, the manager may not want to take on extra work.”
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer linking words when they do not add a clear link. For example, “Therefore”, “Consequently”, and “Although” are sometimes used in a way that makes the sentence hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same point in each body part. Body 1 should only show how same pay may bring staff closer. Body 2 should only show why same pay may be unfair and may harm work effort.
coherence and cohesion
Your last part has two ideas joined by a comma: “equal pay reduce jealousy..., I believe...” Use a full stop or a clear link. This will make the end easier to read.
task response
You give a clear view: you partly agree. You also explain both sides of the topic.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic: equal pay may cut jealousy, but pay should also match skill, work, and experience.
task response
You use examples, such as the coffee shop and the manager. These help show your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmony
  • cohesion
  • financial incentive
  • productivity
  • equity
  • organizational culture
  • highly skilled professionals
  • innovation and competitiveness
  • redistribution of tasks
  • job satisfaction
  • meritocracy
  • contributions and achievements
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