IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter - describe the problem with the equipment - explain how this problem is affecting your work - say what you want the shop or company to do

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Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Vassa Murova
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 my customer number is 12892362734. On July 15, I bought a keyboard for my
IPad
Capitalize the proper name
iPad
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 17 (Model XU). Unfortunately, I have some difficulties with the device. Basically, it does not completely sync with the screen on my
IPad
Capitalize the proper name
iPad
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, when I type something, my screen shows it with a significant delay. It could take approximately 3 to 5 seconds for symbols to appear in my text.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is not always possible to receive access to work-related applications through the keyboard
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I
suppose
Verb problem
have
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 to disconnect the keyboard from the device each time I need to simply open a chat with my colleagues. As you could imagine, it has been affecting my productivity for the whole week — I could not fully concentrate on my tasks and even sent a few messages with silly typos to
company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
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 clients. I realise that your company has a
5 day
Correct your spelling
5-day
 return policy, but given the circumstances mentioned above, I kindly ask you to accept the
defected
Replace the word
defective
 device back or change it. Thank you, Vassa

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task response
All three points are in the letter. Add a clear time for your reply, for example: “Please reply within five days.” Say if you want a new keyboard or your money back.
coherence and cohesion
The order is clear: problem, effect on work, then your ask. Use simple links such as “First”, “Also”, and “Because of this” to make the ideas join more clearly.
task response
You clearly say what is wrong, how it hurts your work, and what you want the company to do.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a good start and end. Each part has one main point, so it is easy to read.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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