IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Water scarcity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? And what solutions can be done by individuals and the government?

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Introduction
Water
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 scarcity has become a serious
problem
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 in many countries around the world. Many
people
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 do not have enough clean
water
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 for their
use
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 in daily lives.
This
Linking Words
problem
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 is caused by many factors, and both individuals and
governments
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 can take action to solve it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will illustrate the causes and
give
Verb problem
provide
show examples
 solutions for
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main causes of
water
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 scarcity is climate change. In many places, there is less rainfall than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past, which leads to droughts and lower
water
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 supplies. Another cause is the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 population. As more
people
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 need
water
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 for drinking, farming, and industry, the need becomes higher.
In addition
Linking Words
, many
people
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 waste
water
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 by leaving taps running or using too much
water
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 at home. Some factories
also
Linking Words
 pollute rivers and lakes, making the
water
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 unsafe to
use
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.
Body paragraph 2
Overmore
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Moreover
show examples
, there are several solutions that can help reduce
this
Linking Words
problem
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. Individuals should
use
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water
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 more carefully.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 taking shorter showers, turning off taps when you do not
use
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 them, and fixing
water
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 pipes. They can
also
Linking Words
 reuse
waste
Correct your spelling
wastewater
water
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 for gardening.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
governments
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Linking Words
also should
Correct word order
should also
show examples
 invest in better
water
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 management systems and repair old pipelines to prevent
water
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 loss. They should
also
Linking Words
 create laws to control
water
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 pollution and encourage
people
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 to save
water
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 through public campaigns. In areas with serious shortages,
governments
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 can build better
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water ways
Correct your spelling
waterways
 or improve
water
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 recycling systems.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
water
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 scarcity is mainly caused by climate change, population growth, and the waste of
water
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.
However
Linking Words
, if both individuals and
governments
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 work together to save and protect
water
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 resources,
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 can be reduced in the future.

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task response
Give one more clear example for each main point. For example, say how old pipes lose water, or how dirty river water cannot be used by local people.
task response
Explain your ideas a little more. Do not only name a cause or solution; say why it leads to less water or how it helps.
task response
Your ideas are good, but some are general. Add simple, real details to make the answer stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more naturally. Do not start a new part with “Overmore”; use “Moreover” or “Also” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Change “Such as, taking shorter showers...” to “For example, people can take shorter showers...” This makes the sentence clear.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body part focused. The first body part is about causes, and the second is about solutions, which is good. Add clearer first sentences to each part.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid small word order problems, such as “governments also should”. Write “governments should also”.
task response
You answer all parts: causes, what people can do, and what the government can do.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: less rain, more people, water waste, and dirty water.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words well, such as “In addition”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water scarcity
  • overconsumption
  • depletion
  • inefficient
  • outdated irrigation
  • climate change
  • potable water
  • water-efficient appliances
  • rainwater harvesting
  • conservation
  • modernizing infrastructure
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable water management
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