IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Water scarcity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? And what solutions can be done by individuals and the government?

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Water
Use synonyms
 scarcity is a serious problem in
countries
Correct determiner usage
many countries
show examples
. There are several reasons for these problems,
such
Linking Words
 as climate change,
overgrowth of populations
Check wording
overpopulation
show examples
, and overuse of
water
Use synonyms
.
However
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, both individuals and
governments
Use synonyms
 can help solve it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the key causes and suggest effective steps to reduce the problem. One main cause of
water
Use synonyms
 scarcity is climate change. In many countries, rainfall has become less predictable, receives less rain than before, and dry seasons are becoming longer. Because of
this
Linking Words
rivers
Punctuation problem
, rivers
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, lakes and dams may not have enough
water
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 in the industrial system or
daily
Change preposition
on a daily
show examples
 basis
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 local
people
Use synonyms
 . Another cause is population growth. When the number of
people
Use synonyms
 increases, more
water
Use synonyms
 is needed for drinking, washing, farming and factories.
Water
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 is
also
Linking Words
 wasted in many places because of broken pipes, old
water
Use synonyms
 treatment systems, and careless
use
Use synonyms
. Individuals can help by using less
water
Use synonyms
 in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can take shorter showers, turn off the taps
while
Linking Words
 brushing their teeth, and fix leaking taps at home. They can
also
Linking Words
 collect
rain
Correct your spelling
rainwater
water
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for cleaning and planting.
In addition
Linking Words
, a large amount of
water
Use synonyms
lost
Verb problem
is lost
show examples
 because of our own wasteful habits and
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 system in the house and community. On the
Use synonyms
governments
Check wording
government's
show examples
 side
also
Linking Words
have a
Verb problem
apply
show examples
major responsibilities. They should repair old
water
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 pipes that are leaking and improve the
water
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 treatment system to reduce
water
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 loss. They can
also
Linking Words
 support better farming methods that
use
Use synonyms
 less
water
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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,
governments
Use synonyms
 should teach
people
Use synonyms
 how to save
water
Use synonyms
 through schools, communities, campaigns or even advertisements. They can
also
Linking Words
 support stricter rules for factories and farming to stop wasting too much
water
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
water
Use synonyms
 scarcity is caused not only by environmental changes or rising demands
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 our behaviour affects the most because of
this
Linking Words
everyone
Punctuation problem
, everyone
show examples
 should
use
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 more carefully, on individuals side
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 should reduce their daily
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
governments
Use synonyms
 should improve infrastructure, make rules and strictly teach the public how to save
water
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer all parts clearly. Your causes and fixes are good, but some ideas are said twice. Give one clear point, then explain it with one short example.
task response
Make the last paragraph shorter and clearer. Say that climate change, more people, and waste cause the problem. Then say what people and the government should do.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences. For example: "Climate change is one cause." Then explain the point in the rest of the paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not complete or are hard to follow. For example, change "In addition, a large amount of water lost" to "In addition, a large amount of water is lost."
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way. You use "For example", "In addition" and "Moreover" well. Do not put too many ideas in one long sentence.
task response
You answer both questions: the causes of water scarcity and ways people and the government can help.
task response
Your ideas are on topic and useful. You give clear examples, such as short showers, fixing leaks, and better farm methods.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: introduction, causes, individual action, government action, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a good order. The reader can understand the main plan of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • water scarcity
  • overconsumption
  • depletion
  • inefficient
  • outdated irrigation
  • climate change
  • potable water
  • water-efficient appliances
  • rainwater harvesting
  • conservation
  • modernizing infrastructure
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable water management
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