The bar chart below illustrates the amount of time spent on various leisure activities by men and women in a given town in 2019.

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The chart illustrates the percentages of time spent on different
activities
Use synonyms
by adult males and females in a particular town in 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, men participated in only three
activities
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
women were involved in five. The highest percentages were recorded for men,
whereas
Linking Words
women generally had lower figures.
In addition
Linking Words
, both males and females showed similar percentages for the unemployed and retired categories. Adult males were involved in three
activities
Use synonyms
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
full-time
employment
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,
unemployment
Use synonyms
, and
retirement
Use synonyms
. The highest figures were recorded for
unemployment
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and
retirement
Use synonyms
, both at 80%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of men in full-time
employment
Use synonyms
was considerably lower, at 45%, making it the lowest figure among the three categories. Adult females participated in five
activities
Use synonyms
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
full-time
employment
Use synonyms
, part-time
employment
Use synonyms
, housework,
unemployment
Use synonyms
, and
retirement
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. The lowest percentage was recorded for full-time
employment
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, at less than 40%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the figures for
unemployment
Use synonyms
and
retirement
Use synonyms
remained relatively stable at just under 80%,
while
Linking Words
the remaining categories accounted for lower proportions.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, employment, unemployment, retirement with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
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