IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: •explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months •say how your work could be done while you are away • ask for his/her help in arranging it

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Dear Mcdonaman, I hope you are doing well. My name is Ibrahim, and I have been working as a Senior Mine Planning Engineer in the Montreal office. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to bring a request to your attention about my change of location for six months. First of all, we are conducting a project with the London office, which is a very important project for our company.
Due to
Linking Words
 the time difference, we cannot arrange meetings, which forces us to work extra hours, and
this
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 has a detrimental effect on our social life.
Also
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, during my absence from Montreal, my team is going to continue its daily routine and send a report
at the end
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 of each week.
In addition
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, we will set up a daily meeting to check on our other ongoing projects. Considering
this
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 situation, I kindly request that my change of location be accepted, enabling us to work on the project without any problems. I would really appreciate it if you could help me out by arraging paper works I have to fill out during these six months. Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking forward to your response. Best regards, Ibrahim

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task response
You answer all three parts, but give more clear detail. Say why six months is needed and how this will help the work. Ask your manager to help with the move, papers, and a place to work.
task response
Use a more formal request. For example: “I would be grateful if you could approve this move and help arrange the needed papers.”
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph: first the reason for the move, then the plan for your work in Montreal, and last the request for help.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not clear. “Also” starts a new idea about your team, so begin a new paragraph. Use simple links such as “First”, “Next”, and “Finally”.
language
Check small errors: write “Dear Mr McDonaman,”, “arranging the paperwork”, and “I have been working ... in the Montreal office.”
task response
You give a clear reason for the move: the work with the London office and the time gap.
task response
You explain how your team can keep working while you are away, with weekly reports and daily meetings.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear opening, a polite ending, and a direct request.
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