IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are working at a company and need to speak with your manager about taking some time off work. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • explain what made you want to take time off • give details about the length of time you need • suggest what can be done to cover your work while you are not there You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...........,

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Dear Mr. Mcdonaman, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to bring a request
of
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for
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 taking some time off work to your attention regarding my
attandance
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attendance
 of
technical
Correct article usage
a technical
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 course.I am planning to take
this
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 leave starting from next Monday, October 15th, for a total of five working days. I will be back in the office on the following Monday. We are
at
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in
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 the transition phase of updating
of
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apply
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our
Use synonyms
softwares
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software
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. As a team leader,
It
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it
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 is a crucial task I have to complete that we have to change our
softwares
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 for a new updated versions because our
softwares
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 are old and cannot meet our needs. They have a lack of capacity to open a
multitask
Replace the word
multitasking
 demand, and our colleagues cannot track their demands online, forcing them to open another ticket that
consume
Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
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 more capacity. During my absence from
office
Correct article usage
the office
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, my team is going to take responsibility to continue
to
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apply
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our day-to-day
task
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tasks
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, and we will arrange a meeting
at the end
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 of the day to check every
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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 together. I kindly request that my leave be permitted, enabling me to
how
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apply
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update our
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softwares
Check wording
software
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 and acquire new abilities to extend them. Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking for your response. Best regards, Ibrahim

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task response
Give one clear reason for the leave. Say that you will take a technical course. Do not mix this with the software update work.
task response
Make the last request clear: ask your manager to approve the five days of leave.
coherence and cohesion
Use short paragraphs: reason for leave, dates, work cover, and closing.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are hard to follow. For example, say: 'While I am away, my team will do my daily work. We will meet each day before I leave.'
task response
You say why you need leave, how long it is, and how the team can do the work.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, end, and polite greeting and closing.
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