IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people today find they have insuficient time to spend with their families, because of pressures of work. What problems does this create for individuals and their families? What solutions can you propose?

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Nowadays, several workers believe that they do not have enough time to stay with their family
due to
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 pressuers of works.
This
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 topic
had
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has
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 been debatable for many years.
This
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 essay will discuss the problems and the solutions for
this
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 issue.
To begin
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 with, there are many problems
for
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due to
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work
Use synonyms
 pressures.
Firstly
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, parents may miss important moments in their children’s lives,
such
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 as school events or daily conversations.
In other words
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, they will not know their children well because of working for a long time.
In addition
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, Children can feel ignored or emotionally distant from their parents.
For example
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, many children feel unhappy because their parents do not have enough time to communicate with them
so
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, so
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 they can not share with them their happy moments . In terms of solutions , employers can offer flexible working hours and allow staff to
work
Use synonyms
 from home when possible. It is
also
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 possible to say that
company
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the company
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 should provide different options for
employee
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employees
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 if they
faced
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face
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 any
obstecle
Correct your spelling
obstacle
.
Morever
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Moreover
,
comapnies
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companies
 can put an account for family and faith events.
For instance
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, they should not let their workers
to
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apply
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work
Use synonyms
at
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on
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 holiday days because
this
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 is their right . In conclusion, there are many problems that can
effect
Use the right word
affect
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 the employee mood and produaction so
company
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the company
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 should solve
this
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 issue to make a
comfotable
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comfortable
work
Use synonyms
 environment for their workers. It is
also
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 true that offering flexible hours is one of the perfect
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
.

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task response
Estimated score: 5. Your ideas are on topic, but they need more detail. Explain each problem more fully. For example, say how less time with parents can hurt a child’s feelings or family trust.
task response
Give solutions that clearly match the problems. Flexible hours and work from home are good, but explain how they give parents more time for school events, meals, and talks with children.
task response
Your second solution is not clear. Instead of saying a company should give “different options” or “put an account for family and faith events”, say that workers should be able to take paid time off for family events.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear main idea in each paragraph. The first body paragraph should only discuss family problems. The second should only give work and company solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not natural or do not add meaning. For example, “It is also possible to say that” can be removed. Use short, clear links: “Also”, “As a result”, “For this reason”, and “For example”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the end match the whole essay. Your end talks about worker mood and work output, but the question is mainly about people and families. End by saying that less work pressure can help families spend more time together.
task response
You answer both parts: problems and solutions. Your main ideas are clear, such as parents missing key times with children and work places giving flexible hours.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. You also use simple linking words such as “Firstly”, “In addition”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • long working hours
  • heavy workload
  • work-related pressure
  • excessive overtime
  • family bonding
  • quality time
  • emotional support
  • parent-child relationship
  • mental well-being
  • feel neglected
  • communication breakdown
  • flexible working hours
  • remote working
  • family-friendly policies
  • set clear boundaries
  • shared household responsibilities
  • protect employees’ rights
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