Some think that developing a successful career is more important than spending time with family and friends, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

It is often argued that focusing on a successful

career

Use synonyms

is more crucial than spending

time

Use synonyms

with family and

friends

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

some individuals disagree.

While

Linking Words

building a successful job

career

Use synonyms

compelling

Correct article usage

a compelling

show examples

factor for

life

Use synonyms

, I strongly believe that family and

friends

Use synonyms

promote

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

happy moments and satisfaction. On the one hand, some people think developing a successful

career

Use synonyms

enhances quality of

life

Use synonyms

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

it is

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

change to get

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

amount

Check wording

apply

show examples

salary.

In addition

Linking Words

, it mitigates some

life

Use synonyms

risks

such

Linking Words

as financial issues and fire job.

Moreover

Linking Words

, individuals believe that it is

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

way to contribute for company's development and generating country's

fund

Check wording

funds

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, 70% of managers prefer to

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working than staying with family members.

As a result

Linking Words

, they receive

Correct word choice

higher

show examples

wages and

keep

Verb problem

continue

show examples

to develop

career

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I side with those who believe that spending

time

Use synonyms

with family and

friends

Use synonyms

is vital for quality of

life

Use synonyms

and mental health. Developing a successful

career

Use synonyms

takes lots of

time

Use synonyms

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

causes

Verb problem

can be

show examples

detrimental to mental and physical health

as well as

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

breaks

Correct subject-verb agreement

disrupt

show examples

life

Use synonyms

and work balance.

According to

Linking Words

the recent survey, people feel

more happiness

Replace the word

happier

when they stay with lovely people.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it encourages

brain's

Correct article usage

the brain's

show examples

activity

that

Linking Words

is foster

Wrong verb form

fosters

show examples

critical thinking

skill

Check wording

skills

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, spending

time

Use synonyms

with relatives and

friends

Use synonyms

could strenghten connection of family members and couples.

As a result

Linking Words

, it helps to reduces popuations'

sociel

Correct your spelling

social

stress and crime rates. All in all,

although

Linking Words

building a

successfull

Correct your spelling

successful

career

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

many opportunities, it

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

replace

satisfaction

Correct article usage

the satisfaction

show examples

life

Use synonyms

. I firmly believe that staying with family and

friends

Use synonyms

are invalueable part of

life

Use synonyms

erdmaatbt0129

Aug 5, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

overall score

Estimated score: 5. Your ideas answer the question, but some ideas are not clear or well explained. Many word and grammar errors also make parts hard to understand.

task response

Make each main idea clearer. For the career side, explain why higher pay is important for a person and their family. For the family side, explain how time together can help people feel less stress and live better.

task response

Use careful examples. The claim that 70% of managers choose work needs a real source. If you do not know a source, use a general example instead: 'For example, a worker may work long hours to save money for a home.'

task response

Some points do not fit well. 'Company development', 'country fund', and crime rates are too broad. Focus on the person: money, job growth, stress, close ties, and life balance.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main point in each paragraph. Your first body paragraph should be about money and job safety. Your second should be about happiness, health, and close family ties.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple words used in the right way: 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'For example', and 'Therefore'. Do not use 'As a result' too often.

coherence and cohesion

Make the opinion line more direct in the introduction. For example: 'Although a good career can give people money and safety, I believe time with family and friends is more important for a happy life.'

coherence and cohesion

End with the same clear view. For example: 'In short, career success is useful, but family and friends give people love, support, and a better life.'

task response

You discuss both sides and give a clear opinion: family and friends are more important.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion.

task response

You use some examples and results, such as more pay, less money worry, and better mental health.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? topic in blood?
Despite of those advantages this media has some disadvantages that make us to control the bad effects of it to our healthy or our life style. According to recently reaserches: child and teenagers that use these applications, can't focus easily on their lessons or important goals of their life and it is hurmful for them. The children and juveniles who spend more time in this spases, during the time, became more anxious ,پرخاشگر, and more alone rather than another child of that age group.
7
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
8
band
You will go to a foreign country to stay there for one year, and you need a place to live in. You have decided to write to an agency for accommodation. Write a letter to the agency to get information about accommodation. In your letter, say: why you are going to this country what kind of accommodation you want when you will arrive You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to enquire about the availability of a small apartment in Lincoln, United Kingdom, as I will be relocating there to begin my master’s degree in Accounting.
6
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
The benefit of moving to big cities influences many countryside citizens to move there and this issue happens around the world. I personally believe that this notion has negative leverages and I will elaborate more on this essay.
7
band
The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a common perception that every kind of advertising should be prohibited for its lack of utility or even detrimental effects on society. Personally, I disagree with this viewpoint considering the potential benefits of advertisements regarding economic growth and information awareness.

Some think that developing a successful career is more important than spending time with family and friends, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? topic in blood?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree?