Nowadays many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

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In the past, many individuals worked for
the
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apply
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companies and multiple organisations, but in recent years, many
masses of
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apply
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workers are moving away from doing jobs and shifting to
develop
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developing
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or
create
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creating
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new ways to be self-employed. The world is progressing rapidly , and with the continuous development and innovation,
this
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grants confidence to the people and freedom in multiple fields of work
and
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, and
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they can
further
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harness and make use of their skills. Masses of crowd who are working under an organisation
maybe
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may
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not
happy
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be happy
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with the environment it creates,
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this
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which
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affects not only the company's results, but
also
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puts a negative view on the employees themselves.
Moreover
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, if the working business is not giving the man or woman their right pay and the promised rewards they offerred
this
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will set a bad example for the rest of the colleagues working , and
thois
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this
could lead them to find different jobs or opportunities to develop their own businesses or be self-employed. There might be numerous reasons why the crowd is moving away from the concept to work under someone.
This
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could be a major issue in the future to multi million dollar company if individuals tend to develop their own businesses.
This
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could cause a decline in labour for already developed and successful companies.
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,
this
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could cause the industries to shut down if it is not controlled.
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,
this
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will cause economic fluctuations in the country and will leave an impression on the economy.
This
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will put the whole nation at a massive disadvantage in comparison to the other countries. Industries and other major businesses should develop
equal
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equally
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rewarding systems for the
skilful
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skilled
people and pay them handsomely so they are not discouraged from their jobs,
while
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maintaing professional climate or environment in the working space , and the managers and ceo's of the company should engage with their workers so they feel motivated.

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overall score
Score: 5. Your main ideas are clear, but some points do not fully answer the question, and they need more support. Use clearer paragraph plans and more direct examples.
task response
For the first question, give two strong reasons for self-employment. For example: people want to choose their work hours, and they want to earn more money. Explain each reason in detail.
task response
For the second question, focus on disadvantages for self-employed people, not mainly on disadvantages for big companies or the country. Good points are: no fixed pay, less job safety, long work hours, and no paid holiday.
task response
Add one short, real-life example. For example: a person who starts a small shop may have freedom, but may not earn enough money in the first few months.
task response
Your last paragraph gives advice to companies. This is not asked in the question. Use this space for a short conclusion that sums up both answers.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction; reasons people choose self-employment; disadvantages; conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main paragraph with a clear first sentence. For example: “One reason people become self-employed is that they want more freedom at work.”
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat or move too far from the main point. Keep each paragraph about one main idea, then explain it and give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. “Moreover” and “Furthermore” are useful, but do not use them too often. You can also use “For example”, “As a result”, and “However”.
task response
You answer both parts: why people may choose to work for themselves, and what bad results this may bring.
task response
You give clear main reasons, such as bad work places, low pay, and lack of rewards.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear parts. The first main part gives reasons, and the next main part talks about bad results.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “Moreover” and “Furthermore”, to add ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom
  • flexibility
  • work hours
  • satisfaction
  • earn
  • money
  • profits
  • technology
  • internet
  • business
  • costs
  • audience
  • independence
  • responsibility
  • risk
  • stress
  • job security
  • social benefits
  • work-life balance
  • commitment
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