IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In many countries, more people are choosing to live alone instead of with their families.

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Nowadays, more people tend to live alone rather than with a family
in
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. In
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this
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essay
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essay,
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 we will discuss both feelings about
this
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. I see that living with a family is a blessing
and
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, and
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 you will be happy. On the
one
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 hand , living alone can be more relaxing and easier
sence
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since
 you only
foucs
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focus
 on
your self
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yourself
 as
single
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a single
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 member.
For instance
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, when you have to study for an
exam
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exam,
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 no
one
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 can disturb or call you. And you manage your time and
,
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apply
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shcedule
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schedule
 so you live your day in peace.
On the other hand
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, everything is on you
there
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; there
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 is no
one
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reponseible
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responsible
 in your life other than you.
This
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 can be a burden for a lot of individuals, because they are used to only
do
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doing
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 their daily work,
while
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 their parents did the
house work
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housework
, maintance and fixing broken stuff.
For instance
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, when you are alone
and
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, and
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 something
go
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goes
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 wrong in the
house
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house,
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 you are the
one
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 responseible of fixing it. In conclusion, living alone is
more
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apply
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harder than with a family
and
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, and
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 it is more tiring. So next time you think about moving out
your
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of your
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parents
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parents'
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home
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home,
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 calculate the pros and
,
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apply
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 cons.

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overall score
Estimated score: 5. Your main ideas are clear, but the answer needs fuller support and clearer links between ideas.
task response
Answer the question more fully. Explain why more people choose to live alone, not only whether it is good or hard.
task response
Make your view clear in the introduction and keep the same view in the conclusion. You say family life is better, but the first main part gives more reasons for living alone.
task response
Develop each main idea. After each example, say clearly how it shows that living alone is easier or harder.
task response
Use more direct ideas about this change, such as work, study, privacy, and the wish to make one’s own choices.
coherence and cohesion
Write a clearer first sentence for each main part. For example: “One reason people live alone is that they want more freedom.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. The second paragraph can focus on the hard parts of living alone, such as house work, money, and help in an emergency.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links more carefully: “because”, “so”, “however”, “also”, and “as a result”. Do not put a comma after “and” in “time and schedule” or “pros and cons”.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion should sum up the main points and answer the topic. Avoid speaking directly to the reader, such as “next time you think”.
task response
You give both sides: living alone can be calm, but it can also bring more work.
task response
You use clear examples about studying and fixing things at home.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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