Some people say that salary is the most important aspect of a job. Others say that happiness and job satisfaction is more important than money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In today’s competitive world, having a good
job
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is an important aspect of life. Some believe that earning a high
salary
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is the main goal of a
job
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.
However
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, others argue that being happy and satisfied with their
work
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is more valuable.
This
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essay will discuss both views and explain why I believe that
job
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satisfaction
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is more important in the long term. On the one hand, a good
salary
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is an important consideration for any
job
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.
First,
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earning more money can help a family afford their basic needs,
such
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as food, housing, education and healthcare. It can
also
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give them a more comfortable lifestyle and reduce financial stress.
For example
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, a person with a high
salary
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may be able to save money for the future or support their extended family more easily.
Also
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,
salary
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can be a sign that a company values an employee’s skills and experience.
Therefore
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, many people consider money a major reason for choosing a particular career.
On the other hand
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, happiness and
job
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satisfaction
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can be more important for long-term happiness.
Firstly
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, people spend a substantial amount of time at
work
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, so enjoying their
job
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can make them feel positive and motivated. A high
salary
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can result in unhappiness
due to
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work
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difficulty, long hours, or poor
work
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conditions, which can create stress.
Finally
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,
job
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satisfaction
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can encourage employees to
work
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harder and improve their skills.
For instance
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, a teacher who enjoys helping students may feel proud and motivated even if their
salary
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is not extremely high. In conclusion, a good
salary
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is important, but
job
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satisfaction
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is more valuable over the long haul. I believe that
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salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
is necessary.
However
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, personal happiness in the workplace is worth more.

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task response
Score: 7. Your answer fully answers the question. To move to 8, add a little more detail to each main point. For example, say how a high salary may not help if a person has no free time or feels bad every day.
task response
Your examples are good, but they are quite short. Make each example show the point more fully. The teacher example could say that pride in helping students can make the work feel worth doing over many years.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 7. Your order is easy to follow. To improve, make the link between ideas inside each paragraph even smoother. For example: “As a result, they may have less worry about money and can plan for the future.”
coherence and cohesion
Do not use too many list words when the ideas do not form a list. In paragraph 2, “Finally” is not needed because there are only two main points. You can use “In addition” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Your end repeats the main view well. It could be stronger if it gave one final reason: “This is because work takes up a large part of life, so feeling happy at work has a deep effect on daily life.”
task response
You talk about both sides and clearly give your own view: job happiness is more important in the long term.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: money helps with basic needs, while job happiness can lower stress and help people do better work.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: start, one side, the other side, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear link words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”.
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