IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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There is no denying the fact that studying at university is essential for securing good jobs.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that
students
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 should
study
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 whatever they like, there is
also
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 an argument that they should only be allowed to
study
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 important subjects which will help them in the future,
such
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 as those related to science and technology.
This
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 essay will
analyze
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analyse
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this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion.On one hand, when
students
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study
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 their
favorite
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favourite
show examples
 subjects, it supports them to keep studying and achieve high marks.
In other words
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, the stress from studies, assignments, and exams will be significantly reduced.
In addition
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, they will become more excellent in their fields because they are
practicing
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practising
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 what they genuinely love.
For instance
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, those who
study
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 whatever they like often create unique innovations; if the owner of Facebook had not studied what he wanted, the Facebook app might not exist today.
On the other hand
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,
students
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 who
study
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 useful technological subjects can greatly improve the economy and society. It is
also
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 possible to say that there are many lucrative opportunities available for them,
such
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 as higher salaries and comfortable jobs.
Moreover
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, these career paths can bring balance and stability to their lives. Research has shown that many
students
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 who have finished their studies and secured a stable job immediately start looking to buy a house and build a family.In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 topic. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that all
students
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 should be free to choose their majors, as
this
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 freedom makes them more active, motivated, and creative in producing something truly special.

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task response
Score: 7. Your answer covers all parts of the task, but some ideas need more support. Explain more clearly why a student who likes a subject may do better in it.
task response
The Facebook example is not strong because it is not clear that its owner studied the subject he wanted at university. Use a more direct example, such as an art student who becomes a designer.
task response
The point about buying a house and starting a family does not clearly prove that science and technology subjects are useful for the future. Add an idea about new jobs, health, transport, or clean energy instead.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body paragraph. In the second body paragraph, move from help for society to pay and family life. This makes the paragraph less focused.
coherence and cohesion
Add a space after full stops. For example: “opinion.On” should be “opinion. On” and “today.On” should be “today. On”.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words only when they show a real link. “In other words” is not the best choice before the point about less stress; “As a result” would be clearer.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly at the end.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic: choice can help students work hard, while science and technology can help jobs and society.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear link words such as “On one hand”, “On the other hand”, “In addition”, and “Moreover”.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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